Fair winds and following seas.

How do you begin to honor a person in a two dimensional world of print when they filled so many more dimensions of your life? It seems like words cannot possibly do justice, but yet here I sit trying to make sense of the unthinkable. I guess I just want the world to remember you. I don’t want you to fade into the background of life. You are too amazing for that.  You always were the one to email me forwards that made everyday life so much more meaningful. The smile they brought to my face when I was in law school was always so needed.

I remember when I lived in Africa and was having such a hard time. I remember I had been invited to a party for a military diplomat and I was discussing how I didn’t want to go and be around those horrible people and when I turned around the host was behind me. It was a bad time in my life and I had let it turn me into someone who was hateful. Sometime after that, you emailed me a forward about a father that sent his four sons to visit the same tree, during different seasons, in another part of the country. When they came back the first son, who had seen it in winter said it was dead and looked ugly and lifeless. The second son said he couldn’t imagine what his brother saw because he had seen it in Spring and it was budding and green. The third son went during summer and described even more beauty; while the fourth son said the tree’s time had passed and it was loosing it’s leaves. You reminded me that I was the same way and my life was like those seasons and the people around me just happened to see me during winter.  It made me feel better and helped me not to judge other people so harshly. They were going through a winter too.

Then during law school when I was stressed, and little things would be too much, you reminded me to stop and think about whether that specific thing would matter in five years; if it would then I should get upset and if it wouldn’t then I just needed to move on. I still have a sticky note on my fridge that you sent me it says:

Remember to ignore the bumps and enjoy the ride!

I always enjoyed you Grandpa. You signed every letter to me with “Grumpy Gramps”. I asked you once why you did, but you just smiled and wouldn’t answer. You said I knew, I don’t. I will never remember you grumpy. I can’t remember one time when you were.  I do remember your deep voice and the times you sang to “Irish Man’s Shanty” to us. I do remember your fabulous chocolate chip cookies that you always had on hand and brought to every family occasion. I love those cookies for so many more reasons than their flavor.

What I want other people to remember about you is the Navy service you took such pride in. You were the reason I chose the Navy. You were the one who inspired five grandchildren to serve their country and its your service to the country that will never be forgotten by those who will always remember you.

You shipped out of Bremerton, Washington, on the USS Seginus (AK 133) after boot camp in Farragut, Idaho in June of 1944. It had one five inch gun aft on an elevated mount, one three inch gun forward and eight 20 mm anti aircraft guns. You were on it when it was used it to deliver cargo to Guam, Saipan, Eniwetok,  Hawaii and other little islands in the Marshalls and Marianas Island groups

After the Seginus you were on the USS Atlanta (CL 104). You were in the Marshalls and Marianas and staged at Saipan for the invasion of Japan when the atom bomb was dropped. On that ship you were in Guam, Saipan-Tinian, Okinawa, and Manilla. You landed Marines at Sasebo for the occupation of Japan then cruised around the coast gathering in Japanese who didn’t know the war was over. You also patrolled for mines and exploded them. You were in Nagasaki, Yokosuka, Tokyo, Ryukyu and Kagoshima, Japan. They shipped you home from TsingTao, China on the USS Comet (APA 166) to San Fransisco and from there you got discharged in Minneapolis in June of 1946.

Then you got called back as a critical rate for the Korean War. You were assigned to the USS McGinty (DE 365) but weren’t able to stay long because Grandma was sick and when Grandpa Blankenship went to bring them back to Iowa they got in a car wreck that was serious enough to ship you home. You got your final discharge shortly after on a hardship.

You started out as a seaman first class on the deck crew that serviced the block and tackle on the fore and aft cargo masts. You spliced cable, painted booms and maintained winches and steam lines. One day, just outside of Hawaii, you were assigned to a work party to break out charts and equiptment for the navigator. He invited you to join his crew and strike for the quartermaster rate. You said yes and made third class. You liked taking star sights, posting charts and was helmsman for the watch and battle stations. You never stopped serving your country and were always the one to volunteer in your community. You were the post commander for the VFW and you got us all memberships to make sure we carried on your legacy.

Thank you for living your life with courage and honesty. I hope to live mine the same way. We will miss you. I promise to make sure I tell your stories and tibits of wisdom to my children and write them down so their children will know them too. You were a great man and a fabulous grandpa. There is so much more to you than I can put here. The way you smelled, the alcohol, the special women in your life, the cribbage games, the magazines we couldn’t turn over,  the way your hair laid down on the bottom and got fluffier until it hit the bald patch. Your beautiful, bass voice in the choir. The stories you told. They way you tried to make all of us feel like your favorite in some way. The articles you wrote. The belt buckle and coin you always wore. The way you squeezed when you hugged. The content look on your face when you were surrounded by family.

I’m sorry you are gone. I’m glad for the times we shared and life you lived. It is that life that will always be remembered. So here’s to you and the scotch you loved. I will always tip one back in happy memory of you. I may be sad, but I will not dwell on it. I will focus on your life and not your death.

Fair winds and following seas. We will stand your watch. You have been relieved.

Happy Sunday

Dear Daddy,

Today me and Beans cleaned the room without asking and vacuumed the house. Mommy appreciated it so much we got to watch three episodes of H20.

We also had a car wash. Mommy did Sally, but in this one area it was a bush and there was bees all over. And I had to duck too because there was two yellow jackets that flew over me head and I had to duck because they were going to fly into me.

Before that Mommy downloaded the songs from her teen music, singing book. I mostly did "Memory" from Cats and "On My Own" from Les Miserables. Brielle mostly did "In My Own Little Corner" from Cinderella and "Part of Your World" from the Little Mermaid. I bet you already know those.

Tonight we went to the Concert in the Park on Coronado. They played Take On Me and other oldies. We loved those. And baby C. loved those too. Oh I forgot to mention that Miss B. was with us too. We also danced and ate sushi for dinner.

Love, Chica

Dear Daddy,

I love you and miss you. Today I had a good day and I'm really tired. We had a carwash and did Sally. It was really fun. I got to spray it off using the hose.

We also went to get gas and we went to Vons and the pet store. And also you know the concert at the park where they play music that we go to every year. You know Miss B. and baby C.? We went with them. It was really fun to play and dance.

And today we also dyed our hair bright pink. But don't worry it's not a stain one. It comes off. I'm going to do it tomorrow too.

From the toothfairy I got four dollars and I also made snow globes today. I made one for mommy, one for me, one for Ashlynn and there was another one too. I'm maybe going to make another one to send to you hoping it won't break. But daddy, it's really adorable. The next time we send mail I'll send you one, don't worry. You'll also see them on the blog. There's a bunny, a lamb, one butterfly and one angel.

At the car wash, ummmmm, I played in soap and I got to dump the bucket. And I followed the water but it didn't get all that far. I'm really sleepy because of all that long day. And I cleaned the house for mommy. I cleaned the bathroom drawer and my bed. It never looked so clean before!

And right now I have to go to bed. Bye daddy. I love you. I'll see you later.

Love your sweetheart, Beanie.

Sorry, Too Tired...says the Grumpy Ashlynn

Dear Daddy,

I love you and miss you. Today we watched the Lego Movie. We were supposed to watch XMen but we didn't because Miss B. wasn't here. So we decided to, me and Ashlynn worked it out, we decided to watch the Lego Movie at home. And right now I'm dancing to the music at the end. And yeah, you might not know what I'm talking about and that's ok. The important thing is that I know what I'm talking about. If you didn't than that would mean you are cuckoo and that's just weird. Do you know what song I have stuck in my head! It just goes on and on and on and I just keep singing it. It goes like this: EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!!!!

We also went to the pool today. It was really fun and we got to play with other rings that random people just found in the pool and they gave them to us and when it was time for us to leave another person played with them and who knows what happened. I had so much fun it was like AHHHHH I don't want to go...but that's what always happens. When you go to the pool you have to make hard choices and one of them is to go home. We asked if we can bring blow up animals and he said yes so I'm hoping we can go tomorrow. But its mom's choice.

We played with our big pop out dollhouse and our little monster thingys. And I played with this little guy and you squeeze him and his eyes pop out. That's my monster and what I choosed to play with. He's bright pink, I mean briiiiiiiight, very bright pink.

I wish you were here. Oh my goodness I've been missing you so much. Oh my gosh I wish you were here. It's been like forever already. I feel like its been two months, but it's not. Mom says it's only been three weeks. Ummmm, we had to do a lot of chores. We had to get Sally's oil and then we went to the pool, we had to go to the dance studio to get Ashlynn a new costume because one of her costumes ripped. I know what you are thinking...it's time to panic. But it's not, it's not time to panic like you think it is. It wasn't that bad anyways.

Did you know my neck is also sweating right now? And the date is June something, Saturday.

Love, Me. (after awhile crocodile! See ya later alligator!)


Dear Daddy,

I love you and I miss you and I'm too tired to write to you. Today we went swimming and we watched the Lego Movie and that 's about all we did. Our weather today was very cloudy. We also played with the dollhouse book that is made out of paper. I played with my little lalaloospies too.

At the pool, I learned how to flip turn.

Love, Ashlynn...OK! I said it in the first part!

Fair Day #3 Slideshow

Sorry! I am just catching up from our final fair day. The girls were so tired that I didn't have them blog and instead swore to myself I would post a slideshow...but of course I was so tired that I didn't put it together or blog to you either. And when I saved it, the titles and the theme didn't even save and it's really long... Oh well! I'm sorry! Anyways, without further ado....Here's the slideshow from their day of dancing!

The Cuckoo Day

Dear Daddy,

Today we watched a lot of H20 and then we went to the commissary. It was just for a quick shopping trip. We also went to the pharmacy to pick up my medicine. They had it ready for us. Then we went to dance. At dance T. couldn't make so I got to do her solo! Then I also had a bloody nose in the middle of tap class. I also had a bloody nose on Wednesday, when we were babysitting.

We got spinny, painty things at the commissary. Well, the paints didn't work for mine but they worked for hers and the dogs wanted to eat them when they dried.

I love you dad and I miss you. We are going to sent you a special little surprise with cards. And yes, it is edible and it is junk food. But don't share it because that's what I would do.  I love ya. Bye.

Love, Ashlynn

Dear Daddy,

I love you and miss you sooooooooooo much. You wouldn't believe, isn't it fun to loose a tooth. You even got to watch today when I pulled it out. It felt like I was holding your hand but I wasn't. You're the best and I wish you were here.

Today I went to dance and I played with A. when Ashlynn was dancing. I brought my baby stroller.

We also went to the commissary and bought these spinny things with paint. And Ashlynn's had pink and it looked like tie dye and it was soooooooo pretty.

Right now I'm jumping over the dog. We tried to sentd your package today but we couldn't because the post office closed at five. So we went to Fuji yogurt and I got a strawberry lemonade yogurt with itty bitty mini M&Ms. Like the size of an itty bitty dot. like not that small but the size of a nail. And I got five spoons of it. It was yummy yummy in my tummy. Yep! Very tasty! And I also tried this vanilla it was like whipped cream but tasty vanilla, but I didm;t get it. and I ate the rest of my ice-cream at dance.

You know that Niblet doesn't fart but now he is starting to fart. Its weird and it starts smelling. Buddy is farting right now too. Not Lily!

Mommy's flowers that you gave her are so big. You can't see the red ones. Thery are like so big. They are like the size of an apple, with pedals! They are like a foot long! And today for Friday movie night we watched a boring one. Well, we haven't finished it we are blogging. But we are going to finishing after.

Oh and daddy guess what nightgown I am wearing. I am wearing the purple one with Ariel. Niblet has changed since you were gone and the bunny. The bunny is way more friendlier, but when she is in a bad mood she scratches you.

Oh and we also went to the bank and the desk was so shiny. It was like a million sparkles!

I love you daddy! Looodooodooo!

See ya later alligator!

Poof!

Brielle

Letters from Daddy

Dear Beanie,
I love you.  I hope you are having fun during summer.  You have
already gone to Disneyland twice and even seen Grammy.  I'm so jealous.  You
wouldn't like it here too much because everyone wears the same color every
day.  No pink and no sparkles.  The food is good, but we eat the same thing
almost every day.    I love you and hope you have more fun this summer.
Be good for mommy and don't fight with sister.

I love you and miss you,
Daddy.

Dear Ash,
You will never believe what was on TV today while I was eating
breakfast.  I was watching a Korean moving about a gorilla that was playing
baseball.  It was crazy.  I'm not sure what the name of it was, but it was
pretty funny.  Things here are ok.  It is a lot like living on Cowell's
mountain without any plants and a whole lot hotter.  Plus it gets really
windy and the sand gets everywhere when it does.  I always feel like I have
a layer of dirt on me.  I liked the pics of you guys at Disneyland.  I also
liked the ones from when you went to Balboa with mommy on her birthday.  You
two were very pretty.  I'm glad that your bunny likes you now.  Hopefully he
won't get fat like the Guinea Pig.  Well I need to get back to work.  I love
you and miss you very much.

Love always,
Daddy.

P.S.  Keep your head up and stay strong for sister.  I'll be home soon.  

Its a Dance Party...

Dear Daddy,

This morning we babysitted J. & M.. While I was there we watched Frozen and played Break the Ice. Their mom got us pizza. It had pepperonis and cheese on it. It was really good.

At swim class today, most of the time we spent in the deep end. It was really, really fun. The first time we touched the bottom of the pool. It was a nine footer. In yesterday's swim class I swam 50 yards! Today I learned flip turns, but I don't really know how to do them.

Then we had dance. I played plants v. zombies. And on the Mummy one I beat the Zom Boss. It is all complete.

I love you daddy!

Bye.

Dear Daddy,

I love you and miss you. I'm sorry about that tooth. I know you were looking forward to it. Its just that I didn't feel like pulling out a tooth today. I just didn't feel like it. I know you were waiting for it. I'm really sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it better? I was looking forward to doing it earlier, but then when I was talking to you I got a little bit nervous about pulling it out. I love you daddy.

Today I had fun. I played at M.'s house. It was really fun. J. is learning how to speak, she's getting there. We played balls with this giant tube and rolled balls down it and there was this bucket where we catched the balls and there was this bucket with a string where you would put the balls in to pull them up and then put them in the tube and do it all over again.

Then at dance, I had a lot of fun at Hula and I got stickers. I put them into my Ariel sticker page. And at Miss T.'s class there was NEW GIRLS! It was not fun! We are going to have to do the steps all over again until they get that part. Its not fair. She came it late after the fair. It was not fun! Then L. came in the class for make ups. She said she's...I wish I could talk to you real life instead of writing to you. That would be a lot more funner. And also in Miss T.s dance we learned a new dance that we are going to add into the old dance. And now I don;t have to do Monday class because we are done in the fair and it's almost time for recital. Have you even had that for your classes?

Right before dance class we went swimming. You know! And daddy, I also was the best in class today at swimming. At swimming I got this one step right and the teacher said it was brilliant. Ummm. Oh yeah! Yesterday we watched Clueless with Miss B. and for Clueless mom had to fast forward a part and then the next day we got to finish it, which was today. I wish you could watch Clueless, what if you could watch it. Actually no, it's too like a fashion show, but even better.

Love, Bye, Your famous fashion girl, Brielle

Fair Day #2

Summer Reading

Dear Daddy,

Today I had a schedule planned. The first thing was go to the library. I picked out four books. One of them was called "The Golden Goose". The other two were American Girl books and the last one was a picture book. They were all great books. I wish you could see them right now.

Then we went to the pet store. At the pet store we got bunny food and fly spray. The dogs had swarms of flys on them. So we squirted them with fly spray. We are not allowed to touch them right now.

Then we went to Balboa, mommy was going to get a three month supply, but they didn't have enough of the shelf for even a month supply. So mommy got the emergency stuff. It only lasts seven days, but it was good because we only had enough for tonight. We are going to pick up the rest on Friday. WE waited two hours for it.

But then we went to swim class. It was really, really fun. I even met this girl, I forgot what her name is, but she was really, really nice. The teacher at swim class was really nice. And for dinner, we had spaghetti and garlic bread.

And we have dance, but we didn't do dance yet.

Love, Chica.


Dear Daddy,

You light up the world like nobody else. I really want to see you tonight, on the top, top of the world! And you know that's from one of our favorite songs. I love you and miss you and wish you were here. But I know you are in my dreams for me.

Today at swim lesson it was our first day and I knew everything. It was like I was in the level I already knew. It was SOO weird. Had you ever got the feeling that you are doing something that a baby could do? you don;t want to do it dad, it feels awkward. Trust me.

And then we went to the library. The library was cool too. We've been to that library a long time ago. I remember it. Ashlynn is trying to bite my food right now.

We had to wait forever at Balboa and right now she just bit my leg! She said what are you going to do about it? Stomp or roll on her.

I looooooove you! Right now me and Ashlynn are playing prisoner. For dinner we were eating spaghetti and after we ate all of our dinner we got a chocolate strawberry. It was very tasty. I got the chocolate chip one.

Sincerely, Brielle.

Awesome Day

Dear Daddy,

I love you and miss you. Today I'm having a great day. We ate popcorn today right before bed. I hope it's fun there. You're the best daddy in the whole world and you'll always be.

Today Grammy left which was bad, but also I got a stroller and a baby crib for my dolls. Its both dolls stuff. And I use it all the time. Grammy bought me the stroller and I used my allowance for the crib. That's why I had the crib and I wouldn't have had the crib if it wasn't for my allowance.

Lunch we had something really to eat. We went to 94th Aero Squadron and when we did there was this boy that wouldn't leave us alone.

Right now I'm kissing my knee, just by the way, tastes good. It was a super fun day. We went to the rose garden and there was flowers that were picked and put in the pool and I crumpled them up and put them in the pool.

It was a great day. It actually isn't that bad without you. The puppies right now are very cuddly and I love to cuddle them because they are more cuddly than they used to be.  And Buddy is a sweetheart and not a grumpy pants anymore. Its a really fun day. Right now Ashlynn is riding the elliptical and the time right now is 8:08.

I love you Daddy! Good morning!

Sincerely, Beany

Dear Daddy,

Today we had a great day and I miss you. Today we went to the 94th Aero Squadron like Brielle said and I, me had a nightmare. The boy wouldn't leave me alone. And right now I HATE boys because they are so mean. And we also went to Target. There Beany got a little baby stroller thingy (is a toy one and a toy crib. Grammy also bought me my birthday present. Its a dog you can color with special fabric markers. I named her, doggy dog.

We also went to the rose garden. The rose that was called "Easter Basket" I named it Ashlynn.

Love, Chica

Beautiful as a Diamond

Dear Daddy,

Today we saw Maleficent (as I told you). We saw it in 3D, with Grammy, but Miss B. couldn't come. Also, we had dinner outside. While we were having dinner we gave Buddy and Lily lychee. Lily foamed up. When she was done she even had foam on her leg. Buddy was clean and shiny though.

Also I forgot to write to you yesterday, but we went to Disneyland and as I said I got a little (ya know how Brielle's Dumbo is a little baby?) well I got something like that but it was a little dalmatian with a red collar from 101 Dalmatians. Grammy got it for me.

I missed you so much today. Tonight we went on a walk. Me and Beans brought our umbrellas and we put little flowers in our umbrellas and we put them on us. It was fun, but it would be a lot more fun with you.

Love, Ashlynn.

At California Adventure!

Sitting down for a refreshing Ghirardelli Chocolate Cookie Split! 

Brielle's favorite ride this time...Toad's Wild Adventure

Dear Daddy.

I love you! I've had a GREAAAAAAT day! Its been so fun!!!! With Grammy!!!!! But it would be a lot more funner with you!!!!!! (said while she was singing)

Tomorrow I'm going to get my stroller and tomorrow is also sad because Grammy is leaving. But she'll be leaving in the nighttime so we get a whole day with her. But what's the good thing is that once it's been a couple of week I'll be fine. I won't feel as sad as when I first left you. That was sad.

At Disneyland, we had still fun, very fun. Anyways, you could tell that everything was going to be a great day the day before Disneyland and I was right. Truthfully I was right. Its fun to be right. I never know what its like to be right and now I do!

Today we looked at pictures, and had a walk, and did a show and did dinner outside. It was a fun day! Everybody knew that!

Daddy, and I chose the name again. I chose it because Ashlynn wasn't here and it means "a beautiful diamond like me".

Sincerely, Brielle 

My beautiful flowers from my husband. He's the bestest!

An Evening with Grammy

Dear Daddy,

Today Grammy came and we had dance. We went to the pool to get me signed up for swimming lessons.

Brielle showed grammy Niblet and Bunny. Niblet loved Grammy. He also peed on her. Grammy said he loved her so much he marked her.

This morning we were supposed to go canoeing, but we could't find our friends. They said to be on the cove, but we couldn't find them. But the good thing was we found a little crabby. He was SOOOO cute! Brielle wanted to take him home. The water was really warm even though it was morning.

Love, Ashlynn

Dear Daddy,

I love you and I miss you. Grammy is here. Its really fun with Grammy. She makes it a lot more easier. Like when you were here. Like we have another family of four. Its really fun.  I wish you were still here.

Oh, and today Grammy got Niblet pee on her. We let them out late in the night so Grammy could meet them.

This morning I went to the beach to go canoeing and meet M. but he wasn't there. We could;t find him there so that is why we ended up leaving. Walking on the beach though I saw this really cute crab. We named him "crabby" but we couldn't take him home. Then we saw three other crabs but we couldn't take them home. They were really smaller. And maybe mommy can send some pictures to you. You would probably love it.

The beach was gross. On the other side were there lots of rocks it felt like you were stepping in diarrhea. It looked like it too. (it was all silt). There was this icky bright green stuff that looked like brains.

Sincerely, Brielle <3 p="">

Love you Dad!

Playing at the park with a friend today (I cropped out the friend for privacy)

Dear Daddy,

Today we went to the park with A. and there was this spinning thingy where you spin it and other people are in there (like a merry go round). In Hong Kong there was a spinning thing like that but I was always the only person to play with it and I would hop in all by myself and it was the exact same thing except there was other people.

Also today, we went to dance. I go to watch Miss T. radioactive dance. It is so cool. It is a tumbling class and the dance looked so cool and I'm going to be there to watch it at the fair. During Brielle's class there was this little boy and there was four things he did. He took something out of the trash can (a little paper cup...and threw it at N.) He also took a ballet shoe and threw it in the trash can. Then he did the same thing with a tap shoe. The fourth thing is that we made a treasure map and he scribbled all over it. I did not like that little boy.

Also today we found out that Grammy is really, really coming. I am so happy! I love you daddy. 

Bye!

-Ashlynn


Dear Daddy,

I love you and I miss you. Today we played at the park with A. We played a lot and then at the end I had an accident. I don't know why but my body just keeps on doing this to me. I got really embarrassed like someone saw. So mom just said we had to go to dance and we went home and took a shower.

At dance I figured out my costume for hip hop. I absolutely love it. The pants are droopy like Miss T and they had graffiti on them. And don't forget about the shirt. The shirt is not a shirt it is a tank top and shows my belly with little things hanging down and fish nets. I'm just going to have to send you lots of pictures of me wearing it! The shoes are chuck tailors that go up to your ankles with lots of sparkles. And it felt like I was going to be the kid I always wanted to be wearing belly shirts!

But can I tell you a dream? I've always dreamed of wearing belly shirts to school. Which I know mom wouldn't approve of that, but I still want to. I can't wait to see grammy. It's going to be so fun. I just know it!

Love, Bean.


.

So Called Black and White...

Dear Daddy,

Today we had sushi and I couldn't choose which one I liked best. We had California Rolls and Cucumber Rolls. I wish we could send them to you, but they would get rotten. If they didn't. Oh my gosh you would love them. They were so tasty.

Oh and do you like the title for the blog? I picked the name, it's "So Called Black and White".

I miss you. Good luck dealing with Marines. That must be hard for you, but not for me. You are my Marine daddy and I wish you were here. At least I am on vacation from school. In summer it is not as fun as last summer was with you. I wish you were here.

I went to the park today. It was actually really fun, but anyway we only got ten minutes, because we had to go to dance. And at dance I had a lot of fun in Miss A.'s class. And at the end mom said I did good and that made me feel good. And today I didn't have to go to the other class because they are only working on the other dance. So I got to color the whole time with my other friends A. and C. It was so fun. I colored my princess coloring book with a lot of stickers. Then we used the cups at dance, those plastic ones, we stickered them and colored the inside and then drank out of them. And we colored them with twistables. The crayons...twistables...that you can twist to make it come up.

And well, we had a lot of fun still. After that we went home and watched pound puppies and H20. We ate dinner and we watched H20. I never knew Ashlynn liked H20. She used to hate it, but now she likes it because it's just fun for her now.

I love you daddy.

Sincerely, Brielle


Dear Daddy,

"Zzzzzzzzzzz. (Snoring Sounnds)......Love Ashlynn." (Then I told her she needed to write more that that....)

Uhhhhhhh. I'm too tired to write. I love you and I miss you. Today we had lots of fun. And we ate a lot, a lot, a lot of sushi. That's all.

Love, Ashlynn (she says while snuggled up in bed.)

They love their shawls! I told them they look like little Afghanistan girls. This is what they wanted to pose like though. They ate three plates of sushi! Brielle said that's why Ashlynn was so tired "she is full, fat and happy" 

The Pool Event

Dear Daddy,

I love you and I miss you. I wish you were here and I wish you were with me. You are the best daddy in the whole world and I really want you here again.

Today I went to the pool. It was really fun. Before we went to the pool we went to Vons because the pool wasn't open yet. And while I was at dance today I was sweating for the very first time. I was doing my hip hop one with Ms. T. and all of the other girls. I'm worried my costume won't be here on time for Tuesday when I dance and I don't even know what my costume looks like yet.

Today at dance it was actually pretty fun. We only got one water break and it was in the beginning. The rest of the time I was sweating and I still am. I wish you were here.

Today I played with Niblet. She was actually really cuddly and playful. Bunny actually likes us now.

Today I read this dragon book. It was actually pretty interesting, but it turned off before I got to finish it. Then I had to read Magic Treehouse.

Outside I made two potions. One was made out of leaves, flower petals, grass and chalk and water. Then I made another one with chalk, water and coal. It's supposed to be like a frozen one. Not like frozen the movie but a frozen ice block. Or if you put it on anyone it will make them stink for five days. That's why I had to be really careful not to spill it on me or else I would stink for five days and I don't want that to happen.

I love you daddy.

Sincerely, Brielle



Dear Daddy,

I love you and I miss you and I wish you were here. Today mom cleaned up outside. After that we tried to go to the pool but it was closed. I was really sad because I really wanted to go, but the guy told us to come back at 3:00. While we were waiting for 3:00 to come we went to Vons to get chips for dinner and dog food for the puppies. They were running out. Then we came back to the house and got on our swimming stuff and got ready for the pool. But before that mom made us read for one hour. I read "Grimmtastic Girls" the Cinderella book with Prince Awesome. Then we went to the pool.

We were there for almost three hours. Don't worry dad we had tons of fun. I wish you were there. Then we went to dance. I did loads of math. And mom taught me how to do doubles on multiplication. But the thing was that I figured most of it out. It was easy.

And I took my bunny out. She wanted to stay close to me most of the time. And I was holding her. My black stretchy pants, that I'm wearing right now, are extremely hairy! But I just wiped the hair off.

Dad I cheated on you and made pancakes with the pancake mix. Don't worry they're not as good as yours. But I did them all by myself. I even flipped them. I'm eating one right now. One had chocolate chips and one has sprinkles. Rainbow sprinkles!

Also, I was working on my makeup. Brielle's face looked wicked. Mom should take a picture of the other one I made. She was a devil and I quickly put on a vampire. Guess what we were playing? I bet you already got it. We were playing monsters.

But now we can only watch a movie a day. It sucks! Or two episodes of something, because mom says it's junk food for the brain. But she is totally wrong!

I love you daddy!

Love, Ashlynn

Happy Fathers Day Dad

Daddy,

Happy Father's Day! Today we went to the fair. Here is a slideshow of our day. It has pictures and a really, really cute picture of Niblet! Here's the slideshow. We love you! 

Love, Ashlynn

Our Day at the San Diego Fair

A Saturday of Parks & Play

Hey Daddy,

Today we went to the park and then we rode our bikes. It was really, really fun, but before that we got stuff for the bunny and went to Walmart for the curtain rod. Now my room is finished because mommy went through it with us and it began to look like a bond, but now it looks really, really clean. We threw away a bunch of stuff but the room looks good now. I'm so happy about it. 

Oh, and I forgot to tell you that we watched Swiss Family Robinson. I really liked the movie, but I knew that the "cabin boy" was really a girl. But still I really, really liked the movie. My favorite part was when they found all the animals and the captain's dogs. While we were watching the movie we ate Swiss Rolls for the Swiss Robinsons. I thought it was really, really cool to watch it.   

I love you Daddy. Bye!

Dear Daddy,

I love you and I miss you. Today at home well I was playing and me and mommy decided we could have a bike ride and then we went to the park and played for a little bit. I loved it daddy. I wish you were here. 

At the movie it was really fun because there was no scary parts and it was really fun. And don't worry it wasn't that fair because the girl in the movie, that came in the middle, got to ride a zebra. I was thinking hmmmm that's not fair I want to ride a zebra. My favorite part in the movie was when the pirates arrived. It was kinda funny because they had coconut bombs and logs that they threw down. And they had like little bb guns that they shooted at them. It was funny! It was quite funny because every single part I just loved. There wasn't a single part I didn't love.

Love, Brielle.

Darn Avocados!

So yeah., it's the little things that can bring you down. I consider myself a strong person. I've done the  separation thing a lot and I consider myself a seasoned military spouse, but avocados were my downfall on this one...

I went grocery shopping on Thursday. I had been doing fine. I guess it was all the excitement of Disneyland and staying busy, but that's neither here nor there. Anyhow, I wanted to go shopping alone one last time before the girls were home for the summer and I was speeding through to get it done before I needed to pick them up. I figured if I went fast enough I could even put the groceries away before I picked them up and needed to give them attention and snacks and do homework....you get the idea. So I'm cruising through the produce section and I was planning to make sushi so I grabbed three avocados and put them in one of those clear produce bags and walked to my cart and started pushing it towards the bananas. Of course as I was pushing it, I realized that I was the only one left in the house that liked avocados and it dawned on me that I was all alone.  I didn't need three avocados, but I wanted to be able to buy three avocados... 

In April when Kelly was living with us I would have been able to buy three avocados and we would have made yummy things and sat around the table like one big family and enjoyed them, but Kels wasn't with me and Hoss wasn't here and, in that moment, all I wanted was to have everyone back. I wanted to be able to buy three and not have them go bad. I didn't want to be all alone. It just made me miss the way things were so much. I missed Kels and I missed Hoss and I suddenly became acutely aware of the empty spot they left behind. I was sad when Kelly left, but I still had Hoss and the girls. Then Hoss left too. In that moment it was all too much for me.

I walked back to avocados and tore open my bag and surrendered to the fact that I no longer needed three darn avocados. I only needed one. I re-bagged it and hurried through the rest of the store to the checkout stand before I lost it. It was all I could do to make it out to the car.  Once I got there I left myself feel sad and hid behind my sunglasses. I sure do hate to be the one left behind. I'm so thankful to have the girls; I just miss the people who aren't here too. 

It's not the everyday things that are hard. It's the moments between breaths. I happy exist in the routine of a regular, fast-paced life. We keep busy and I breath in and out and life keeps going. It's the pauses that kill me, the moments that catch me off guard. You just can't plan for the moments between breaths when you suddenly feel the ache of the things you can't change even though you so desperately want to. I think it's those moments that cause our exhale to be so long, as if the act of exhaling could somehow alter the way we feel. And yet, perhaps the exhale helps pull us back into the routine and past that moment. I don't know.

All I know is that I need to avoid the avocado section for the next little while;) Just kidding.