Beautiful as a Diamond

Dear Daddy,

Today we saw Maleficent (as I told you). We saw it in 3D, with Grammy, but Miss B. couldn't come. Also, we had dinner outside. While we were having dinner we gave Buddy and Lily lychee. Lily foamed up. When she was done she even had foam on her leg. Buddy was clean and shiny though.

Also I forgot to write to you yesterday, but we went to Disneyland and as I said I got a little (ya know how Brielle's Dumbo is a little baby?) well I got something like that but it was a little dalmatian with a red collar from 101 Dalmatians. Grammy got it for me.

I missed you so much today. Tonight we went on a walk. Me and Beans brought our umbrellas and we put little flowers in our umbrellas and we put them on us. It was fun, but it would be a lot more fun with you.

Love, Ashlynn.

At California Adventure!

Sitting down for a refreshing Ghirardelli Chocolate Cookie Split! 

Brielle's favorite ride this time...Toad's Wild Adventure

Dear Daddy.

I love you! I've had a GREAAAAAAT day! Its been so fun!!!! With Grammy!!!!! But it would be a lot more funner with you!!!!!! (said while she was singing)

Tomorrow I'm going to get my stroller and tomorrow is also sad because Grammy is leaving. But she'll be leaving in the nighttime so we get a whole day with her. But what's the good thing is that once it's been a couple of week I'll be fine. I won't feel as sad as when I first left you. That was sad.

At Disneyland, we had still fun, very fun. Anyways, you could tell that everything was going to be a great day the day before Disneyland and I was right. Truthfully I was right. Its fun to be right. I never know what its like to be right and now I do!

Today we looked at pictures, and had a walk, and did a show and did dinner outside. It was a fun day! Everybody knew that!

Daddy, and I chose the name again. I chose it because Ashlynn wasn't here and it means "a beautiful diamond like me".

Sincerely, Brielle 

My beautiful flowers from my husband. He's the bestest!

An Evening with Grammy

Dear Daddy,

Today Grammy came and we had dance. We went to the pool to get me signed up for swimming lessons.

Brielle showed grammy Niblet and Bunny. Niblet loved Grammy. He also peed on her. Grammy said he loved her so much he marked her.

This morning we were supposed to go canoeing, but we could't find our friends. They said to be on the cove, but we couldn't find them. But the good thing was we found a little crabby. He was SOOOO cute! Brielle wanted to take him home. The water was really warm even though it was morning.

Love, Ashlynn

Dear Daddy,

I love you and I miss you. Grammy is here. Its really fun with Grammy. She makes it a lot more easier. Like when you were here. Like we have another family of four. Its really fun.  I wish you were still here.

Oh, and today Grammy got Niblet pee on her. We let them out late in the night so Grammy could meet them.

This morning I went to the beach to go canoeing and meet M. but he wasn't there. We could;t find him there so that is why we ended up leaving. Walking on the beach though I saw this really cute crab. We named him "crabby" but we couldn't take him home. Then we saw three other crabs but we couldn't take them home. They were really smaller. And maybe mommy can send some pictures to you. You would probably love it.

The beach was gross. On the other side were there lots of rocks it felt like you were stepping in diarrhea. It looked like it too. (it was all silt). There was this icky bright green stuff that looked like brains.

Sincerely, Brielle <3 p="">

Love you Dad!

Playing at the park with a friend today (I cropped out the friend for privacy)

Dear Daddy,

Today we went to the park with A. and there was this spinning thingy where you spin it and other people are in there (like a merry go round). In Hong Kong there was a spinning thing like that but I was always the only person to play with it and I would hop in all by myself and it was the exact same thing except there was other people.

Also today, we went to dance. I go to watch Miss T. radioactive dance. It is so cool. It is a tumbling class and the dance looked so cool and I'm going to be there to watch it at the fair. During Brielle's class there was this little boy and there was four things he did. He took something out of the trash can (a little paper cup...and threw it at N.) He also took a ballet shoe and threw it in the trash can. Then he did the same thing with a tap shoe. The fourth thing is that we made a treasure map and he scribbled all over it. I did not like that little boy.

Also today we found out that Grammy is really, really coming. I am so happy! I love you daddy. 

Bye!

-Ashlynn


Dear Daddy,

I love you and I miss you. Today we played at the park with A. We played a lot and then at the end I had an accident. I don't know why but my body just keeps on doing this to me. I got really embarrassed like someone saw. So mom just said we had to go to dance and we went home and took a shower.

At dance I figured out my costume for hip hop. I absolutely love it. The pants are droopy like Miss T and they had graffiti on them. And don't forget about the shirt. The shirt is not a shirt it is a tank top and shows my belly with little things hanging down and fish nets. I'm just going to have to send you lots of pictures of me wearing it! The shoes are chuck tailors that go up to your ankles with lots of sparkles. And it felt like I was going to be the kid I always wanted to be wearing belly shirts!

But can I tell you a dream? I've always dreamed of wearing belly shirts to school. Which I know mom wouldn't approve of that, but I still want to. I can't wait to see grammy. It's going to be so fun. I just know it!

Love, Bean.


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So Called Black and White...

Dear Daddy,

Today we had sushi and I couldn't choose which one I liked best. We had California Rolls and Cucumber Rolls. I wish we could send them to you, but they would get rotten. If they didn't. Oh my gosh you would love them. They were so tasty.

Oh and do you like the title for the blog? I picked the name, it's "So Called Black and White".

I miss you. Good luck dealing with Marines. That must be hard for you, but not for me. You are my Marine daddy and I wish you were here. At least I am on vacation from school. In summer it is not as fun as last summer was with you. I wish you were here.

I went to the park today. It was actually really fun, but anyway we only got ten minutes, because we had to go to dance. And at dance I had a lot of fun in Miss A.'s class. And at the end mom said I did good and that made me feel good. And today I didn't have to go to the other class because they are only working on the other dance. So I got to color the whole time with my other friends A. and C. It was so fun. I colored my princess coloring book with a lot of stickers. Then we used the cups at dance, those plastic ones, we stickered them and colored the inside and then drank out of them. And we colored them with twistables. The crayons...twistables...that you can twist to make it come up.

And well, we had a lot of fun still. After that we went home and watched pound puppies and H20. We ate dinner and we watched H20. I never knew Ashlynn liked H20. She used to hate it, but now she likes it because it's just fun for her now.

I love you daddy.

Sincerely, Brielle


Dear Daddy,

"Zzzzzzzzzzz. (Snoring Sounnds)......Love Ashlynn." (Then I told her she needed to write more that that....)

Uhhhhhhh. I'm too tired to write. I love you and I miss you. Today we had lots of fun. And we ate a lot, a lot, a lot of sushi. That's all.

Love, Ashlynn (she says while snuggled up in bed.)

They love their shawls! I told them they look like little Afghanistan girls. This is what they wanted to pose like though. They ate three plates of sushi! Brielle said that's why Ashlynn was so tired "she is full, fat and happy" 

The Pool Event

Dear Daddy,

I love you and I miss you. I wish you were here and I wish you were with me. You are the best daddy in the whole world and I really want you here again.

Today I went to the pool. It was really fun. Before we went to the pool we went to Vons because the pool wasn't open yet. And while I was at dance today I was sweating for the very first time. I was doing my hip hop one with Ms. T. and all of the other girls. I'm worried my costume won't be here on time for Tuesday when I dance and I don't even know what my costume looks like yet.

Today at dance it was actually pretty fun. We only got one water break and it was in the beginning. The rest of the time I was sweating and I still am. I wish you were here.

Today I played with Niblet. She was actually really cuddly and playful. Bunny actually likes us now.

Today I read this dragon book. It was actually pretty interesting, but it turned off before I got to finish it. Then I had to read Magic Treehouse.

Outside I made two potions. One was made out of leaves, flower petals, grass and chalk and water. Then I made another one with chalk, water and coal. It's supposed to be like a frozen one. Not like frozen the movie but a frozen ice block. Or if you put it on anyone it will make them stink for five days. That's why I had to be really careful not to spill it on me or else I would stink for five days and I don't want that to happen.

I love you daddy.

Sincerely, Brielle



Dear Daddy,

I love you and I miss you and I wish you were here. Today mom cleaned up outside. After that we tried to go to the pool but it was closed. I was really sad because I really wanted to go, but the guy told us to come back at 3:00. While we were waiting for 3:00 to come we went to Vons to get chips for dinner and dog food for the puppies. They were running out. Then we came back to the house and got on our swimming stuff and got ready for the pool. But before that mom made us read for one hour. I read "Grimmtastic Girls" the Cinderella book with Prince Awesome. Then we went to the pool.

We were there for almost three hours. Don't worry dad we had tons of fun. I wish you were there. Then we went to dance. I did loads of math. And mom taught me how to do doubles on multiplication. But the thing was that I figured most of it out. It was easy.

And I took my bunny out. She wanted to stay close to me most of the time. And I was holding her. My black stretchy pants, that I'm wearing right now, are extremely hairy! But I just wiped the hair off.

Dad I cheated on you and made pancakes with the pancake mix. Don't worry they're not as good as yours. But I did them all by myself. I even flipped them. I'm eating one right now. One had chocolate chips and one has sprinkles. Rainbow sprinkles!

Also, I was working on my makeup. Brielle's face looked wicked. Mom should take a picture of the other one I made. She was a devil and I quickly put on a vampire. Guess what we were playing? I bet you already got it. We were playing monsters.

But now we can only watch a movie a day. It sucks! Or two episodes of something, because mom says it's junk food for the brain. But she is totally wrong!

I love you daddy!

Love, Ashlynn

Happy Fathers Day Dad

Daddy,

Happy Father's Day! Today we went to the fair. Here is a slideshow of our day. It has pictures and a really, really cute picture of Niblet! Here's the slideshow. We love you! 

Love, Ashlynn

Our Day at the San Diego Fair

A Saturday of Parks & Play

Hey Daddy,

Today we went to the park and then we rode our bikes. It was really, really fun, but before that we got stuff for the bunny and went to Walmart for the curtain rod. Now my room is finished because mommy went through it with us and it began to look like a bond, but now it looks really, really clean. We threw away a bunch of stuff but the room looks good now. I'm so happy about it. 

Oh, and I forgot to tell you that we watched Swiss Family Robinson. I really liked the movie, but I knew that the "cabin boy" was really a girl. But still I really, really liked the movie. My favorite part was when they found all the animals and the captain's dogs. While we were watching the movie we ate Swiss Rolls for the Swiss Robinsons. I thought it was really, really cool to watch it.   

I love you Daddy. Bye!

Dear Daddy,

I love you and I miss you. Today at home well I was playing and me and mommy decided we could have a bike ride and then we went to the park and played for a little bit. I loved it daddy. I wish you were here. 

At the movie it was really fun because there was no scary parts and it was really fun. And don't worry it wasn't that fair because the girl in the movie, that came in the middle, got to ride a zebra. I was thinking hmmmm that's not fair I want to ride a zebra. My favorite part in the movie was when the pirates arrived. It was kinda funny because they had coconut bombs and logs that they threw down. And they had like little bb guns that they shooted at them. It was funny! It was quite funny because every single part I just loved. There wasn't a single part I didn't love.

Love, Brielle.

Darn Avocados!

So yeah., it's the little things that can bring you down. I consider myself a strong person. I've done the  separation thing a lot and I consider myself a seasoned military spouse, but avocados were my downfall on this one...

I went grocery shopping on Thursday. I had been doing fine. I guess it was all the excitement of Disneyland and staying busy, but that's neither here nor there. Anyhow, I wanted to go shopping alone one last time before the girls were home for the summer and I was speeding through to get it done before I needed to pick them up. I figured if I went fast enough I could even put the groceries away before I picked them up and needed to give them attention and snacks and do homework....you get the idea. So I'm cruising through the produce section and I was planning to make sushi so I grabbed three avocados and put them in one of those clear produce bags and walked to my cart and started pushing it towards the bananas. Of course as I was pushing it, I realized that I was the only one left in the house that liked avocados and it dawned on me that I was all alone.  I didn't need three avocados, but I wanted to be able to buy three avocados... 

In April when Kelly was living with us I would have been able to buy three avocados and we would have made yummy things and sat around the table like one big family and enjoyed them, but Kels wasn't with me and Hoss wasn't here and, in that moment, all I wanted was to have everyone back. I wanted to be able to buy three and not have them go bad. I didn't want to be all alone. It just made me miss the way things were so much. I missed Kels and I missed Hoss and I suddenly became acutely aware of the empty spot they left behind. I was sad when Kelly left, but I still had Hoss and the girls. Then Hoss left too. In that moment it was all too much for me.

I walked back to avocados and tore open my bag and surrendered to the fact that I no longer needed three darn avocados. I only needed one. I re-bagged it and hurried through the rest of the store to the checkout stand before I lost it. It was all I could do to make it out to the car.  Once I got there I left myself feel sad and hid behind my sunglasses. I sure do hate to be the one left behind. I'm so thankful to have the girls; I just miss the people who aren't here too. 

It's not the everyday things that are hard. It's the moments between breaths. I happy exist in the routine of a regular, fast-paced life. We keep busy and I breath in and out and life keeps going. It's the pauses that kill me, the moments that catch me off guard. You just can't plan for the moments between breaths when you suddenly feel the ache of the things you can't change even though you so desperately want to. I think it's those moments that cause our exhale to be so long, as if the act of exhaling could somehow alter the way we feel. And yet, perhaps the exhale helps pull us back into the routine and past that moment. I don't know.

All I know is that I need to avoid the avocado section for the next little while;) Just kidding.