Darn Avocados!

So yeah., it's the little things that can bring you down. I consider myself a strong person. I've done the  separation thing a lot and I consider myself a seasoned military spouse, but avocados were my downfall on this one...

I went grocery shopping on Thursday. I had been doing fine. I guess it was all the excitement of Disneyland and staying busy, but that's neither here nor there. Anyhow, I wanted to go shopping alone one last time before the girls were home for the summer and I was speeding through to get it done before I needed to pick them up. I figured if I went fast enough I could even put the groceries away before I picked them up and needed to give them attention and snacks and do homework....you get the idea. So I'm cruising through the produce section and I was planning to make sushi so I grabbed three avocados and put them in one of those clear produce bags and walked to my cart and started pushing it towards the bananas. Of course as I was pushing it, I realized that I was the only one left in the house that liked avocados and it dawned on me that I was all alone.  I didn't need three avocados, but I wanted to be able to buy three avocados... 

In April when Kelly was living with us I would have been able to buy three avocados and we would have made yummy things and sat around the table like one big family and enjoyed them, but Kels wasn't with me and Hoss wasn't here and, in that moment, all I wanted was to have everyone back. I wanted to be able to buy three and not have them go bad. I didn't want to be all alone. It just made me miss the way things were so much. I missed Kels and I missed Hoss and I suddenly became acutely aware of the empty spot they left behind. I was sad when Kelly left, but I still had Hoss and the girls. Then Hoss left too. In that moment it was all too much for me.

I walked back to avocados and tore open my bag and surrendered to the fact that I no longer needed three darn avocados. I only needed one. I re-bagged it and hurried through the rest of the store to the checkout stand before I lost it. It was all I could do to make it out to the car.  Once I got there I left myself feel sad and hid behind my sunglasses. I sure do hate to be the one left behind. I'm so thankful to have the girls; I just miss the people who aren't here too. 

It's not the everyday things that are hard. It's the moments between breaths. I happy exist in the routine of a regular, fast-paced life. We keep busy and I breath in and out and life keeps going. It's the pauses that kill me, the moments that catch me off guard. You just can't plan for the moments between breaths when you suddenly feel the ache of the things you can't change even though you so desperately want to. I think it's those moments that cause our exhale to be so long, as if the act of exhaling could somehow alter the way we feel. And yet, perhaps the exhale helps pull us back into the routine and past that moment. I don't know.

All I know is that I need to avoid the avocado section for the next little while;) Just kidding.

The Last Day of School

Dear Daddy,

Today we had field day where we got to go out in the field by the school and do activities. Ms. N. was supposed to bring us back in at 10:00 but she didn't she forgot all about us. (I guess she threatened the ones who hadn't completed all their timed math facts that they were going to have to come in and do them again...) I am so happy because of that, because I wanted to have all of field day. But the thing was that heartlight the girl that was doing it (teaching it and everything) she did buffalos, but she didn't even do the shuffle. I don't even think she knows tap. My favorite ones were the bend-o-boards (where you stand on a little board and then under you is a little rolly thing and you have to keep your balance) and there's surf board that you do it with too. There was also little mat things with spikes on them, they are made of rubber...but they aren't hard. For gymnastics we did the easy stuff. I did the handstand walks. It was really fun and easy for me. We also did the baseball throw. S. made fun of me when I threw; she said good job K. we did better than Ashlynn. It really hurt my feelings. I wish she didn't say that. I did the "T" but still it didn't work. Can you try to give me another way to use? E. really helped me out. She said "it's ok Ashlynn". We are friends now. But S. hates me because she thinks E. is the worst person in the class and she thinks I'm going to turn out mean, but I'm not going to Daddy.

For Friday Movie Night we watched "Moms Night Out" and there was this character, the main character's husband, and I kept on thinking throughout the movie that he was in a fantasy movie and then mom looked up who the character was and he was "Sam" from Lord of the Rings! It was really, really weird. I mean I didn't know he was going to be in the movie. There was this guy that was another main character's husband and he was afraid of children and bikers. He was really, really silly too. It was a A++++++ movie. Whenever it comes out on disk we are going have to buy it. I looooooved the movie. Brielle can't blog because she fell asleep just now. I love you!

Love, Ashlynn

Hey, 

It was great to get to chat with you today! Thanks for calling. It seems so weird. Last time you were gone you didn't have your own email, computer or anything and this time we can text and video chat. (Sheesh we are old!)  It makes you seem so much closer. Anyhow, we just got back from the movie. The girls loved it. I thought the first half was cute and then it dragged in the middle. Aside from that it was good, but definitely produced by a churchy-type. 

The girls climbed straight into bed when we got home and I brought the computer and one of your "kisses" back to them so they could eat it and blog. Ashlynn went first because Brielle insisted and she was WAY too tired to argue with...well, by the time Ash got finished dictating her letter to you Brielle was fast asleep. Sorry! 

Well, I love ya lots. Take care of yourself

Me. 

Disneyland and Today!

Dear Dad,

Yesterday at Disneyland I got a Dumbo wrapped baby and its a Dumbo. It's really, really soft. Its other name that I named it is Darla. At Disneyland we didn't get to ride the Pirates of the Caribbean because the line was too long. But we did get to ride Ariel. And I'm going to bring Dumbo to show and tell tomorrow because it is the last day of school. Its going to be excited for summer vacation, but it's not going to be that fun when it's not with you. I wish you were here.

Today at dance. It was fun because I learned a new step called the tilt. It is a side kick where you lean down and bend yourself back.

Miss W. gave me a sticker that said "star student" I was really happy and pleased. And yesterday it was fun but A. seemed a lot different. I love you daddy.

Sincerely, Brielle

(Yes, she's holding my green tea lemonade:))

Dear Daddy,

Daddy I want to be a billionaire so really bad because I could get all the things I never had...joking!

Yesterday and Wednesday we went to Disneyland, but Wednesday I got a black parasol. Mom took a picture of it to show you. It even says my name and hearts and flowers. I went on Cars two times and I went on Splash Mountain. I got to sit in the front of every ride. The Haunted Mansion was not scary to me because I knew all their tricks. I mean I want to see something scary but because I knew what they all were...the ghosts were projections and the rest of the stuff was electronics. And also we went on "its a small world" and A. was scared of that ride. It was weird.

Today at school we got most of our yearbooks done and the rest of the day we watched a Phineas and Ferb episode and a Japanese movie in Chinese.

I love you.

Love, Ashlynn

Disneyland (Part 2) Pending...

We got in a midnight last night and the girls were exhausted. They wanted to still write to ya, but I told them no. Then they woke up this morning and wanted to try again, but getting them out the door on time is enough of a challenge without trying to dictate the post from both of them with all of the excitement of yesterday pouring out...so again I said no. I'm going to bring them home from school and bathe them (yes, gross that they didn't yesterday or this morning after Disney but there are worse things in life...) give them a rest (we can't call it a nap anymore) and then I'll let them write you before dance.  You are going to be asleep, but at least you'll have something to read when you wake up:)

Yesterday was good. We arrived at about 10:30am and left at 10:15pm....it was a long and happy day at the happiest place on earth:) Cheesy right, but I can't help myself:) We even got to ride the new cars ride twice...which by the way, is now my favorite Disney ride EVER! It is a fast paced ride in a six-seater car through the Carsland and then concludes with a race against another car through a roller coaster like course. It was really well done and super cute. We fastpassed the line both times and it was great. Other than that we buzzed around and the girls spent their allowance. Brielle found $10 bucks on the ground and so they ended up being able to buy something they were planning to save for and get next time. 

We left for a little bit when we bussed to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner. The food was ok. The company was good and it was nice to sit down in an environment where people aren't pushing and shoving and walking by constantly. I don't even want to think what Disney is going to be like when Mom comes and school is out...yuck! They were doing their Disney Grad Celebrations while we were there this time... I know I used to be them, but there was so many loud, rude teenagers everywhere it was kinda annoying. Ahhh to be that young and free and oblivious to the responsibility that's about to be huddled onto your shoulders...

Well, I'll let the girls tell you more about it when they get home. I have two more days of crap to get done before the girls get out of school and I have to drag them along. I want one more grocery store trip without their "I wants and give me give mes":) I'm also going to try to get the oil changed on both cars...we'll see how much of my aspirations come to fruition. Ah the boring life of the housewife and stay at home mom...I'm one of those people now....

Disneyland (Part 1)

Dear Dad,

Today at Disneyland T. looked a lot different. She is three now, last time we saw her she was two. Right now me and T. are BFFs. We sit on every ride together. We don't like to leave each other but sometimes I'm not tall enough to sit with her. We have to sit with adults, but we are still kinda next to each other because the rides turn. Like Ariel. I liked Ariel the best out of the Tower of Terror and Cars world. I still wished you were here. I found out that A's dad left too. I didn't know, but it made me feel sad that his dad had to leave too. but I learned after a couple of days it's not so bad without you dad. At Disneyland when I first saw A. he looked a lot taller. A lot lot taller.

Dad, I hope you made it safe to -. I hope you are doing well.

Love, Brielle


Hey Dad,

How have you been doing? Today at Disneyland I saw T. She had lots of personality because now she can talk. A got a lot bigger, but from the start when we first saw each other again we weren't really talking at first. We had to get friendship again. At almost all the rides we sat together.

I rode one called, Tower of Terror. I loved it. Brielle hated it. She got really scared. The Tower of Terror is kinda like, you know...frogger. but a lot scarier. It even has a story behind it. It is really called the Hollywood Hotel and they call some of it the Twilight Zone. A. says it was a TV show too. Me Miss B. and A. went on another ride. It was called Screamin. It was a roller coaster. The first time we went on it was GREAT, but the second time it broke down. It was horrible. We got stuck on it when it broke. But the good thing is that we got fast passes to the whole entire park. Even Disneyland. It was awesome. We loved it there.

At lunch it was disgusting. We had chinese food, but they didn't even get the orange chicken. We ordered orange chicken but all they did was put mandarin oranges on plain chicken. They were crazy.

Bye daddy! I love you so much. I wish you could have been there. I'll tell you about it when you get back. I might even buy something with my allowance. I love you dad.

Ashlynn.


Today was great, exhausting but awesome. It was nice to see old friends and hang out in a place that is just fun. We started driving at 6:30 and got there by 8:15. There was no one in the park at that time and so we could hop on a few rides without waiting. I was bummed that we needed to drive back for dance, but I thought it was important to get Ash back for her tap class since she has missed the last few classes and she's performing it at the fair soon. Of course, in typical Ash fashion she ralphed on the way home, but luckily I was ready for it and we didn't even have to stop. 

Well, that's about it. Take care of yourself.   

I miss you dad!

Dear Dad,

I wish you are here and I really miss you. Today we did our biography reports. I did good. Miss - loved it. Phillipe was Abraham Lincoln and he passed out little Abraham Lincoln beards to everyone in his class. I didn't get one because I wasn't in his class. Also today a boy gave out cupcakes but it was in the other class too. So we didn't get one. 

Mom was going through everything and she pulled back the bookshelf and behind that was mommy's finger X-rays and the giant notepad. And so after we did that I started drawing a "frozen" poster and Brielle is drawing one too. 

And I liked to talk to you. It felt really good inside. Bye.

Love, Ashlynn. 

Dear Dad,

Today I had a great day. I still really missed you and while I was talking to you on the phone I actually started to cry today. I really missed you. 

Today I got on green and I had no bullys. We don't have homework the rest of the week and me and Daisy kinda broke up and anyways it doesn't really matter because it's the end of the year.

At dance that girl who always glares at me only glared at me once. I was really surprised. Well today, today I get a bedtime kiss from that bucket and I'm getting really excited about it too. Is - a nice place I wonder?

I'm drawing a "frozen" poster for you. It will be done maybe by tomorrow. Hopefully. Dad I miss you but I found out that 25 + 5 = 30. It was really exciting learning new math. I love you daddy. Bye!

Sincerely, Brielle. 

SeaWorld

Hey guys! 

Here's a video made from pictures of our trip to SeaWorld. I hope it turns out, it was my first time using the video function on my new computer. (Hoss and my brothers bought me a fancy Mac for my graduation and I'm still learning how to use it:)). This will be all from me until after the girl's competition. Then I will hopefully have a bunch of dance pics to post....

SeaWorld was fun. I did initially feel a little conflicted with all of the negative press that surrounds SeaWorld, but who can pass up the free tickets that they offer us military folks every year...not me! Anyhow, when we were all finished with the day I asked the girls what their favorite part of the park was and they said it was the Atlantis roller coaster. Ash really wanted to go on the new Manta ride but Brielle is still one inch too short and I didn't think it would be fair for her to get to ride when Brielle couldn't. My favorite was the dinner with Shamu. The trainers made it incredibly educational and we were able to see the orcas close up. The food was excellent and if you notice Ashlynn's plate in one of the pics, they had plenty of strawberries:) Her favorite! 

Please enjoy the video...here's the link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSxgORMWNRc&feature=youtu.be

Actually, this one wasn't the one I made. This was a slideshow that was automatically generated. I tried to directly download the other one and it took too long so Kelly helped me download one to YouTube...Anyhow, I thought we clicked on the right one, but we didn't and now it's 11:40 at night and I'm going bed. Darn, but at least it's something:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpp-UnuvGI4&feature=youtu.be

Above is the one I worked on. I finally figured it out!!!!

Back in the saddle!

Hello again! 

I couldn't possibly try to update on everything that's happened in the last few years. I can say that the family managed to make it through the chaos of law school (I graduated in December and took the bar at the end of Feb.) and we all made it out whole at the end. 

Some things that will come up though as I start blogging again….

Ashlynn has epilepsy…

She was diagnosed a year ago. We spent four days in the hospital while they ran tests and she had seizures every hour and a half. They got it under control with medication and we were seizure free for one year (minus one in August when she had grown so much we needed to increase her meds). Then in  January of this year her health took a nosedive and at the end, on antibiotics, we started having problems again. Her meds have been upped three times since then and she is still having them at school (they think one of the teachers stresses her out). We are trying to adjust things and there have been many meetings at her school. Before I took the CA bar I was at her school for every recess and lunch so that I could monitor her in case she had one. (She had been having them on the playground and nobody would notice her; it was dangerous!). After the bar though, the whole family took a vacation and since she is out of school right now we have not had any in 10 days and counting!!! We have one more week together before we have to stick her back into school. I have my fingers crossed….if we can't get them to stop then I can't up her meds anymore (she is already having problems with response times and confusion) and I might have to homeschool her or explore other options. Anyhow, that's enough to update you in case I write about it later.

The girls are in dance….

It is all consuming!!! Ashlynn wanted to get into theater last year and auditioned for The Sound of Music. When we arrived we discovered that all of the other girls there had been dancing, singing and acting for YEARS. You should have seen these girl's resumes! Anyhow, Ashlynn didn't even get a call back and she was devastated. So, we put her in acting, dance and choir to start building her experience for next time. Fast forward to one year later and the thing they love the most is dance. They both auditioned for and made it onto the competition teams and now we do seven and a half hours of dance a week. I will post a link (next competition) for their dances. They are adorable! I've been getting used to the routine and it's been super helpful to have two other drivers in the house to juggle around their schedule. Speaking of which…

Kelly is staying with us…

Kelly is my younger (but not smaller:)) brother. He came down in November to help me get through my last semester of finals when Hoss was away in school. He is just the best to have around and we've been abusing him ever since. The girls adore him and we would never let him leave if it was our choice! Anyhow, when I mention Kelly it's not a stranger. It's one of my fabulous brothers.

The girls attend Chinese Elementary…

The girls go to a Chinese Elementary School. They speak and write a little. I just mention it because we celebrate a ton of Chinese holidays and it might be confusing….

Well, that's all I can think of right now…Here's a few pics from the last couple weeks...

 Hoss had a softball tournament this weekend. In-between games he was playing catch with the girls:)

Brielle managed to find a small bit of shade to watch Dad play in his tournament. It was just a cute pic.

Hoss's work had a family picnic with face painters. Brielle wanted to be a pirate. When we asked her why she said because she hated girl stuff. Too funny, knowing Brielle's girly side and the fact that she insisted on wearing that dress. Ash loved her butterfly and convinced her daddy to get painted too. He ended up to be joker.

Ashlynn loves the show "face-off". She even got a makeup kit for Christmas. Here is a picture of us experimenting so she could learn how to do "old". 

Brielle had her 7th birthday a couple weeks ago. We asked her where she wanted to go and she picked a buffet with a chocolate fountain:) So, Brielle is now 7 and Ashlynn is 8 until July. People always look at me for an explanation when I have to say their ages at this interval. 

Well, that's it for now. At least I started blogging again. I will try to keep you all posted now that (were hoping) the chaos of life is over. I don't have a job yet, so I have a bit of time and I'm hoping to use it by blogging, sewing, and scrapbooking. Wow, that sounds so domestic….hmmmm…maybe these years of law school have left me feeling deprived…I don't know, but at the end the girls will have some new maxi dresses and quilts. You will be more informed and we will have our memories cataloged. It sounds pretty domestic, but it also sounds like a win:)