A letter to Ash and Bri

My Dear Sweet Girls,

On this night, the eve of my first day of school, I wanted to tell you how bittersweet this moment has become. I love you more than words can describe and it is with a heavy heart that I will walk into school and away from this existence that we have all come to know and feel secure in. You are the most precious things in the world to me and it has been such a pleasure to stay home with you and watch you grow. I am terrified that I haven’t done enough to prepare you for the years to come and so hopeful that it will be an amazing experience for all of us.

I hope that my schooling will inspire you to follow your dreams as I have done and never give up on the things that matter. I pray that this will lead into a great job that will give you (Ashlynn) the art lessons you have wanted and (Brielle) the hula dancing classes you have reminded me of daily since you watched “Lilo and Stich.” I want you both to have every opportunity to succeed and be happy in life and I want this to lead into financial freedom; so we can give you more chances to explore the world around you.

Ashlynn,
When I came home from the hospital and decided to stay there with you it was the hardest thing I have ever done. You have always made it worth it. We struggled in the beginning and your poor father would hear about it when he got home, from both of us, but with the incredible friends we had in Japan we made great memories. I enjoyed teaching you to read and write. It was fun making all the crafts and ideas from our “busy book.” I have loved our treasure hunts and the macaroni tunnels that we strung around the walls in different configurations to get the noodles from the highest point into the bottom bowl and floor around it. You are such a loving and sensitive child and I will miss waking up in the morning and snuggling you on the couch while I drank my coffee and we watched cartoons. It has been a great summer.

Brielle,
I am most nervous for you. I have never spent much time away from you and you have never been without us before. Two weeks ago you tried to go to vacation bible school and only made it through the first three days. You said you missed me too much and that “three hours was too long to be away.” Tomorrow we will start some long days apart with complete strangers. I will miss your company. When I took Ash to school for the first time I comforted myself by knowing I still had you. Tomorrow I will walk away from you and we will both be alone. It makes me sad to think about it. You have been such a spunky part of my life and can always bring joy with your sweet songs and your tight hugs. Hopefully the teachers will do a better job with your education than I have, you are very stubborn:) I will miss our adventures and playing with you. I wish we had a little more time together before this next step, but I feel blessed to have had the time we have.

As we all embark upon this journey together I want you to know how hard I have worked to get here. We all have, in every aspect of our lives, and we are the accumulation of our experiences together. The pieces have fallen perfectly into place and I feel like this is where I am supposed to be. I hope that I am right and nothing negative will come along to undo the foundation I have spent so long building in your lives; if I am wrong than I am sorry. I will pray for you and be thinking of you both in all the moments we are apart. With all of the chaos of the next few years I will try my best to pause and hear your thoughts and make time for the things that are important to you. We have weathered the beauty of Japan, the hardships of Tunisia and the joys of Hong Kong together. Law school will be our new direction; a separation of our time together but not our hearts.

I look forward to the morning with excitement, fear and sadness. Staying home with you has been the hardest thing I have ever done, but it will always be the thing I feel most accomplished about. I have no regrets. You both have become such beautiful little girls and I am so pleased to have been there to see all of your first accomplishments. I am proud of you and look forward to the future.
Love,
Mom

Sea World Field Trip

Today was Ash's Sea World field trip! I was lucky enough to go with her and they assigned me one other girl as well. We had a lot of fun. I was most definitely exhausted, but they had a blast and that's what counts. Ash and I stayed after they left and did the things we weren't supposed to on the field trip as they weren't "educational". She went nuts for the Pets Rule show and the Atlantis ride; which she claimed was "better than the log ride and Space Mountain!!!" We even rode it twice because there was no lines and she was so excited. I couldn't get her to take the front car with me, but maybe next time:) Here's some pics. Oh and Brielle had a fun day with her dad playing all kinds of games she made up. One even had lifesavers and you had to turn into a star when you got caught or something:) How sweet.

I know I really should get some photoshop software...I'm sure this could be a better picture, but I still like it.

This was a baby kangaroo the kids got to pet.

Pics from the Weekend

We had a great weekend. The community sponsored a movie on the lawn night and we had fun watching "Marmaduke". The girls really enjoyed it, except for Brielle who only enjoyed half of it and the back of her eyelids the other half:) Then Hoss's brother came for the day on Memorial Day and boy did the girls enjoy their cousins. We older ones got through an entire game of Phase 10 and yes, before they came Hoss and I did finish the puzzle:) Also my friend from Okinawa was down in San Diego for the weekend and I was able to see her for a bit. It was so nice. So below are some pics from the weekend and one from Friday.

How great is this? Ash brought it home from school and I just thought it was too cute. The kindergarten writing with the exclamation points:) For those who are too far removed from kindergarten it says: Penguins are great!! divers.

Here they are doing a craft at the movie night. Not sure about Ash's face, but with two kids I never seem to get a good picture of both together.

Here we are waiting for the sun to go down so they can start the movie. It was really sweet as we were waiting Ash kept watching the sky (remember they are usually in bed by 7:00 so they aren't outside when it's dark very much) and then I heard her start whispering "star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might. Have the wish I wish tonight"

Her's the finished craft. Ash used so much glue that hers slid apart before we made it home and she canned it, but Bri's is still on the refrigerator.

Our Lazy Long Weekend

I know what you are thinking...are they doing a puzzle?! Yes, we are. Have you tried it lately? It's relaxing and fun and frustrating and a great way to share conversation around a table:) So that is how our weekend is going; putting a picture together of a beautiful mountain range in Washington. I long for the beauty of the mountainous outdoors, but will settle for a picture until it warms up more and the rain has decided to stop for an entire weekend.

Also this morning we had SUGAR PANCAKES!!! A favorite in my house. They are supposed to be called Swedish pancakes, but since you throw a wad of sugar down the middle (or sprinkles as my girls prefer) that's their nomenclature in my house. The story with these is that it's a family recipe that my mom tells me has gone through a few generations. In my house growing up they were significant because my mom was a health food nut. We rarely ate real sugar in the confines of our own home and about once a month my mom would make these and put a bowl of sugar in the middle of the table. As you can imagine it was the best kind of treat and we couldn't gobble them down fast enough. Of course my mom always opted for the more healthy brown sugar. If you have the illusion that I am ladylike just don't sit at the table with me. 14 years of 4 brothers, sitting around a common table, aggravated by the trauma we endured to eat in boot camp and I can suck down food faster than a garbage disposal; and unfortunately I rarely think about it. So, I try to pre-flight if I am eating out with better company as to avoid the embarrassment of people asking me what just happened:)


Anyhow, here is my version of the recipe (for Karen as I thought about eating them with Maddi in Hong Kong and the happy times that we all had together)


Swedish Pancakes

2T. Butter
1 Cup Milk
2 Beaten Eggs
1/2 Cup Flour
1t. Baking Powder
1/2t. Salt

Melt the butter in a saucepan and then turn off the heat and add the milk; letting it warm while you gather the rest of the ingredients. Grab your mixer and blend in the eggs, flour, baking powder and salt. I just leave it in the saucepan when I do this. After it's all blended keep mixing for another minute to fluff up the eggs and make your pancake fluffy. (The dough will be pretty thin.) Then pour or ladle it onto a pan on medium heat and cook it like a pancake, turning when you see bubbles about halfway to the middle. After you can pour your sugar down the middle, roll it up into a tube and enjoy!

Hope your long weekend is going well!

Why Thomas Jefferson School of Law (TJSL)?

So here's the story:

Thomas Jefferson School of Law used to be located right off of Highway 5. Every morning I would drive past it's small black sign on the way to the ship when I was in the Navy. I always thought as I drove past it that someday I was going to aspire to go there and that if a law school was named after a president it must be prestigious...hey, I was just driving by and it was very early in the morning:) Then 9/11 happened and I would drive to the ship at 4:00 in the morning just to miss the huge 2 hour wait to get in the gate for the morning rush (because security was so tight). That way I could spend the two hours in my shipboard rack instead of the car; and at 4:00 in the morning as I would drive by I'd think "this sucks, I wish I was going there instead, at a normal hour!" Then, partially because of that, and just embarrassment of having to tell people I had a GED, I started going to school again. I signed up at Miracosta College to get my highschool diploma and I signed up with Central Texas College (CTC) to get an associates; CTC accepted my GED to start. Funny thing, I did get them both within one month of each other. It was kinda nice because my English papers could be recycled for both:) At any rate after 9/11 we started going out to sea a lot. As much as I enjoyed it, I did miss Hoss and we would talk about how someday I was going to be a lawyer and we wouldn't have to do this and always their small sign (that I passed twice a day) was in the back of my mind. Then I started looking into the JAG program and I found out that I needed a 178 on the LSAT just to get in while I was active duty and I kinda gave it up. The funny thing is that when I was going through paperwork I found my last review or my closeout evaluation and on it was a blurb about losing a fine sailor who might come back as a better asset (I can't remember the wording exactly) meaning I was getting out to pursue law school and then join up again as JAG (something that I still consider).

Well, I received my bachelors in Criminal Justice in 2006 after I had, had Ash and decided to take the LSAT. It went horribly! It was the first time I was ever separated from her and she was nursing every hour to hour and a half and wouldn't take a bottle. So not only was I terribly uncomfortable, but I was worried about her well being as well. I bombed it. The practice tests didn't help my score and Hoss was wanting to go on the MSG (embassy tour) program so I gave up. Then about a year and a half ago I got a pamphlet in the mail stating that Phoenix Law had looked over my stuff from The Law School Admission Council and I was qualified to attend their program. It made me think about it again and I wondered if maybe motherhood wasn't all I could be about. So thanks to the good advice of my Aunt Sharon I studied and retook the LSAT in Hong Kong and with her assistance got together a good personal statement so I could be eligible for wherever Hoss's job took us next. so of course when we found out we were going to San Diego the first thing I thought of was that black sign.

I applied to Thomas Jefferson, California Western and one other school south of LA, but still in the back of my mind I wondered if this was really something that we should do and I told Hoss that maybe our family would be better off if I just pursued the Forensic Science field and got a job. Even after I submitted the applications I was telling people that even if I got in I wasn't sure if this was what I was supposed to do with my life. I also told Hoss that if it was truly meant to be then perhaps I would get a scholarship to really show me that this was the way to go.

At any rate, we left Hong Kong before any acceptance letters arrived and I took this as a very bad sign. I was discouraged and had already started looking into jobs the week before we flew out. So it was a huge surprise the morning we were sitting in the hotel and I opened an email that invited me to "An accepted student open house". It stated that by now I should have received my acceptance letter and they would be happy to have me come for a tour and the weekend presentation. Not only that, but it was from Thomas Jefferson School of Law!!!! I was shaking and crying when I showed it to Hoss. When we finally got our new address I called the universities to update their database and sure enough I had gotten in and the packet they sent me stated that I was also eligible for a partial scholarship! So there you go. It was meant to be.

The open house was amazing. The professors and staff were incredible. Unfortunately, they are no longer along highway 5, but it's a good thing as this year they opened the most technologically advanced, newest law school building in America. It is great. The dean (who has been a dean for 31 years and has two previous schools for reference) has made the building functional, beautiful, warm, and welcoming. Every detail has been carefully thought out to benefit the students and the environment. It is right downtown and we get an automatic membership to a great gym across the street. Not only that but it's right beside Padres stadium!

I did also get into California Western, but as you now can understand I had to pick Thomas Jefferson.

A Couple Pictures

Ashlynn received an award this month along with two of her other classmates. She was SO excited and we made sure to tell her how proud we were of her. They also gave her a certificate for a free hamburger at In an Out which she insisted on redeeming as soon as we picked her up. I definitely wasn't complaining and made sure to get a double double (a double cheeseburger)at the same time:) For those who haven't seen her in glasses yet...she got them the week we left Hong Kong. I took her in because she was doing a weird blinky thing and we thought maybe she was having a reaction to the pollution. Well, she was but they noticed that she also had amblyopia. Which is a lazy eye in the sense that her right eye's vision was so bad that her brain blocked the visual reception of it and was only using the left eye. We had no idea! So, now she patches the right eye for four hours everyday and we are hoping the problem will correct itself before she turns seven; which is the age when her brain will finish developing this area. Poor girl! So her prescription in her right eye is a +9 and the left eye is nearly nothing. Fortunately this has helped her coordination as using only one eye gave her no depth perception and she was pretty clumsy. Another positive is that her allergies are completely gone now and we don't have to use the eye drops, can you imagine though if I didn't take her in that week and just waited to see if the problem would've corrected itself in clean air...we never would've known. She might have broken a leg next:)!

We have been enjoying lots of ballgames this year. For our ten year wedding anniversary (can you believe it's been that long?) I got Hoss season tickets. The modern ten year gift is diamonds and we all know he's not much of a diamond guy and I definitely liked the idea of going modern as it benefited me as well; so what better way to get a baseball guy diamonds then to give him 20 baseball diamonds in the form of season tickets? So yeah, that's him enjoying the game on one of the bright, sunny San Diego days. Our seats are great and the people on either side of us are fun too so we really look forward to it. And, in case you are wondering, he got me a three stone (one for the past, present and future) 2 carat diamond ring. I'm spoiled!

I have so many pictures of Brielle lately. We play all day while Ash is in school and there's so many more moments that my attention isn't divided so I can pause to take some cute pictures like this one; taken at our favorite part on Miramar base with long slides, swings, musical areas, spinney things and best of all it's fenced in! She's been wanting her hair braided like this lately; like "Hansel and Gretel" this day she told me, "now I look like a Hawaiian Hansel and Gretel!"

This day we were watching Lord of the Rings and she curled up in my legs and fell asleep:)

America!

Ok, so here I go again...
I have refrained from writing up to this point because I’ve been having a really hard time adjusting to American life. I know this sounds trite, but I didn’t want to write as if I was whining or ungrateful for the many things that I have to be thankful for. Life here is easy and we are very blessed. I just have had a hard time; as making friends here has not been simple and the neighborhood we moved into is beautiful, but the very secluded. I say this because everyone seems to enjoy being anonymous and the neighbors are anything but friendly. We have tripped our house alarms a few times but have yet to have anyone even pop their head out to ensure that we are ok. We have a joke that they put their phones to their ears as the run from their cars to the house just to avoid a friendly wave. And as of living here for two months we have only met two neighbors. Despite this, the house and area are amazing! Our house is a cute thing on the corner with an enormous fenced in yard. Funny, maybe enormous is relative though. After coming from no backyard and no grass to be found, we are ecstatic with the beautiful fenced in yard and think it is huge!
One of my favorite things about living here again though is driving! The kids are happy, there’s no waiting for busses or stinky cabs and I have the safety locks on the doors so Ash can’t unexpectedly sling open a door at any unexpected moment. Also, this allows me to scale down from the big purse and just carry a wallet as I can leave the wet wipes , first aid kit and everything else in the car.
Another awesome amenity is the gym with child care! The YMCA here has a supervised playroom for the kids so I can drop Brielle off and go work out. She gets socialization time and time away from me while I get to work out and de-stress. And I have to admit, that on Mother’s Day we dropped them off there and instead of working out we went and sat in the hot tub for a free mini date.
As for Ashlynn, her school is going well. We have had to get used to people being really crazy about attendance and fundraisers since it’s a public school, but she seems to be adjusting well. I think the only major difference, that we have noticed, is the amount of bullying and kindergarten manipulation that goes on because of the large class size that she is in. There is one teacher to 23 kids and she can’t watch everything so Ash has been manipulated and bullied a couple of times. It’s nothing big and we have had lots of talks with her about how it’s ok to not do something even if someone says they won’t be your friend if you don’t, but it’s hard as some of these situations would be non-existent in a more affluent neighborhood with better supervision. Or perhaps they would still go on, but it is something we didn’t worry about before we got here.
Another thing that has gone on since I last wrote is that I was accepted into law school! I’m very excited as this has been a dream since I first visited the courtroom with my father when I was 4. For a bit there I was having doubts that it was supposed to pass, but when I received my acceptance I knew that it was the thing for me! Also, they offered me a partial scholarship so that helped to convince Hoss that we could do it. So now I am making preparations for this fall to go to Thomas Jefferson School of Law. Perhaps next post I will tell you why it was so important to go to Thomas Jefferson, but I think this post is quite longer enough for now.
Please forgive me for not posting sooner. I will now try to be more faithful in my correspondence and start filling you in on some of the funny and happy things that you have missed.

So many emotions...

We are HERE!!!!! We made it back yesterday morning at 9:30! We are back in the U.S.A for good. The girls were absolute angels on the airplane. We are so blessed to have such sweethearts. Brielle had an earache that started the day before we left and even she was a gem.

I have so many feelings and emotions right now. I am devastated to leave behind the people and city I love, but so excited to be coming back to a beautiful, smog-free life. I think I have cried more this week than in the last year. Here are some of the expressions that elicited the most emotion:

"Thank you for being nice to me" (said by my friend's live in maid). I saw her randomly in the city before I left and said goodbye and this is what she said to me. I managed to smile and hug her and get through it but as soon as I walked in the door I fell apart on Hoss. You see these people are treated so badly by everyone. The entire city is racist against them and everyone else only sees them as a workhorse. They work 15+ hours a day/six days a week. If they complain with what they have been given then they could get fired with a bad referral letter. This letter means that they will not get another visa and will not be able to get the $450/month that goes to feed their entire family and extended families back home. They live in closets (if they are lucky) or they have to wait until their family goes to sleep and then they may have the couches. Sometimes they sleep in the child's room to make sure the parents aren't bothered during the night. And yet despite this, they are the most beautiful and joyful people on the inside that you have ever met. There was one in my building that never said he was having a bad day. I would see her and ask how she was doing and she would say she was happy everyday and would say bless you and make sure the girls got a hug. This is the same one that I watched with a newborn and a high energy two year old and the smile never left her face. You would never hear a negative word or complaint leave her lips.When I left her I asked if she knew any maids who could use my prepaid cell phone. She said she did but asked instead if she might keep it herself to remember me by. That made me cry too; so I did leave it for her and erased everything but the random pictures of us that we had taken. So anyways, when the last thing that the other maid said to was "thank you for being nice to me" I thought it was just so sad that her life is so hard that the few times I saw her and talked to her she was grateful that I treated her like a human being.

"Lets go Mom! There's nothing left here!" (said by Ashlynn) I was doing the last walk through of the house before we took off to the airport and she was super excited. Hoss had already left early to check in the dog and we were meeting him there. When I heard it leave her mouth I just had to walk to the laundry room and collect myself. I wanted to run out there and explain that even though there was no physical things left in that house there was so many good memories that I was having a hard time walking away from them. Every room I was walking through haunted me with the sounds of the laughter and joy that had filled them. I have such positive memories and the girls have changed so much since we arrived I wanted to scoop up that house and just sit in the living room and remember every smile. It's so hard to grow up and more so to watch your children grow up.

"This way sweetheart", "Your doing good honey" "Great job girls" These were the words I heard when we were traversing LAX. Everyone was so pleasant and nice. It was such a happy change from the foreign words and expressions of the Hong Kongers. We landed and had to leave Hoss in LA to drive Max down because the flight to San Diego couldn't accommodate his size and the rental car couldn't accommodate him and us. So, going through TSA's fabulous checks and navigating the LAX airport with the girls and six carry ons was a bit overwhelming after the long flight, but everyone was so nice to me and the little ones. On a side note, when they offered us a $400 voucher and tickets on the flight 2 hours later to San Diego I would've LOVED to get those tickets, but alas the girls and I were just done at 3:00am our time:)

Alright, well we are happily in the pet-friendly Travelodge. Today Hoss is checking in with that horrible new regulation haircut he will now sport. (I was quite used to his incognito one he wore on the job overseas.) We are getting cell phones and I'm going to sign Ash up for school and me up for the GYM!!!!!! How funny people look at us when we tell them (like the rental car people) No, I don't have an address yet. Nope, no cell phone. We are wandering souls for one more day and tomorrow we will get our housing assignment!

Random Thoughts...

I guess my internet is just really screwed up. I couldn't access it for a while and then it was on again, but I still can't attach pictures. If the fabulous people who tap my phones and watch my computer are reading this then please make it back like it used to be...I leave in four days and then you can adjust and screw up everything for the next person then!

Another random thought...
I love my husband and have to brag...he ran 3 miles in 19min 32sec last week!

More...
No matter how hard you try you still can't catch everything. Ashlynn was doing some crazy blinking last week and we thought maybe it was allergies so we took her in. It was allergies, but they found out she has almost no vision in her right eye and because of this it has become lazy. Thankfully we have 2 years to try to correct it before she is stuck with the results, but poor kiddo!

More...
I'm going to miss this place! The ladies here had a going away for me Tuesday night. We had dinner and sang karaoke. It was great and then they gave me the most amazing charm bracelet with charms from around Hong Kong! I am so thankful for everyone here that has made it so enjoyable. I will miss everyone.

More...
Four days!!!!!! How crazy is that?????????????

Just for a laugh...

Ashlynn at the Canadian Pet Store

When Ashlynn was 3 ½ we left Tunisia, N. Africa for a much needed Summer break and headed to Canada to relax in Calgary with my mom and younger brother, Kelly. It was a fabulous summer and the girls learned how to start calming down around other people; as Tunis had them paranoid. They were paranoid from playing at the park and getting run over by rude Arab boys who had no concept of proper play with little white girls and so, they in turn had no idea how to make friends outside of the American Embassy compound. Not only that but for safety measures I never let go of their hand when we were in public. Anyhow, they were definitely shell-shocked in this Western culture and I suppose so was I.

I say this because as I was driving home from the grocery store with my mother one evening, around sunset, I observed a young teenager in a small pair of shorts and tank top walking along a stretch of road that ran aside the highway. I immediately panicked and took in a sharp breath, and then I started laughing. It had crossed my mind that she wasn’t wearing enough clothing and since it wasn’t a densely populated area she was going to get raped. But in reality, her outfit was more than reasonable for the circumstances of the era and people didn’t have to worry about dressing with everything covered there. Not only that but she wouldn’t be looked at in such a sexual way for her dress nor was it dangerous for her, by any means, to be walking in that place alone.

So here we are in Calgary and for an evening activity we go to the pet store. The girls had never been to a pet store as there weren’t many in Okinawa and it was very limited in Tunisia. As a matter of fact we saw more living (and dead ) species at the food market than the “pet” store across the street from it. As a side note it was a very amusing day the day they had a live squid for sale that crawled across the floor and then stuck to the butcher’s leg for entertainment. We had to go back to the stinky, fish part every time after that but there never was such a “lively” performance repeated. We had to make due with the guys who would smack them as we walked by to show them suddenly flail and gasp through their fins displaying how fresh they were as they called out in French the names and prices. So back to the original story, we walk into the pet store and the girls have ear to ear smiles as they are drawn to the kittens that they have caged at the entrance; and their excitement attracts the attention of the bored saleslady who comes over to engage them in conversation.

Now my girls were slow to start talking and a bit shy from being overseas but once they get started every embarrassing family secret and bodily function could come out in course of a conversation. Brielle is even prone to start improving and fooling random strangers into believing that she goes to a school with 130 teachers and 9 brothers…well, that’s about the time I think they figure it out, but the point is that the girls love to talk. So, here’s the conversation I overhear when the saleslady asks Ashlynn if she has a kitten or wants another one:

I want a kitten but I can’t have one because my brother, Max will eat it (Max is a 130 pound Mastiff, but the lady doesn’t know this). I’m waiting for him to die and then my mom said I can have one. (Keep in mind that the lady still doesn’t know that her brother is a dog.) He’s in Africa with my dad. I wanted to bring him but my dad wouldn’t let me because he’s too big and he’s black.

I was sitting in the background dying! The poor saleslady had no idea and Ashlynn didn’t realize that there was anything wrong with what she had just said. So I had to step in and save her. At this point it wasn’t worth the explanation of why Africa and who Max the dog was. So we just redirected her to the rabbits and away from the horrified lady who still might remember the child who was waiting for her “big, black, African brother to die so she could get a kitten he wouldn’t eat!”

The Tram and the Japanese Tour Guide

OK, so I wrote a post about the fabulous weekend we had and it has pics to describe it, but the pics won't download for some reason. I keep trying, but nothing will come up. Therefore, you will get another tidbit until I can load them:)

The Tram and the Tour Guide.
When Ashlynn started her first year of school I was delighted to have the privilege of taking her to school. This was in Hong Kong and her school was located at The Peak. The most convenient and fast way for us to get there was via tram, straight up the mountain. So every morning we would walk a couple of blocks to the small path which led to the MacDonnell Road tram stop. Along the way we would pass the trash ladies taking out the accumulated trash from all of the high-rises , where they would deposit it in heaps along the road, and the trash diggers who would be pawing through it all looking for anything fixable or salvageable that they could try to sell or give to family members. One old man had a little stand on the road and he would always squeeze every bag listening for the crunch of a soda can to recycle. Then as we turned up the step the aroma of “the stinky stairs” would hit. These were the stairs that every dog in the neighborhood used as a bathroom. It was forbidden to fall on these stairs as your hands and everything else would have to be thoroughly scrubbed and sanitized before they would ever again be considered clean.
Now, the tram itself is a huge tourist attraction. Everyday thousands of people are transported up and down. The views are spectacular and it truly is a fun experience to be going at such a steep incline, in a boxcar, and realize that the buildings themselves look like they going perpendicular to you; like they are going to slide or break off. Also, there is always a point when you are going up and the tram clears the tree line where, if the pollution isn’t too bad, you suddenly come upon a view of the entire Hong Kong skyline, Victoria harbor and across from that you can see the Kowloon skyline as well. It is truly breathtaking.
Yet, it only took us a couple weeks of riding before we forgot to look and appreciate what we had. The tram became another chore in the routine of our day and we didn’t stop to think about its beauty. Most often we would be talking about the coming day or perhaps a dog (usually a small, little guy named George) we had seen on the stinky stairs. That was when the Japanese tour guide came along. He started bring on the tourists’ once or twice a week. This guy got a kick out of going into the aisle at the steepest point and demonstrating, using the angle of his body, just how steep it really was. Well, as soon as he would step into the aisle the entire group would gasp and his smug smile would be appreciated by all as they took pictures and clapped. I loved it.
Every group loved it. Then, as soon as we would cross the treeline he would point, like a proud father, at the beauty of the view. It was great. It taught me to always look at things with fresh eyes. So many times we fall into a pattern and get used to the present, forgetting to open the box and appreciate the contents. Life is about the opening the box and inhaling the aroma even if you already know what it smells like.

Ash's Debut

Brielle being goofy!

Ash singing with the others

I so tried to get a good picture of the two of them, but they were being goof balls and this was as good as it gets...

This is a video of Ashlynn singing her New Years song in Mandarin. She was asked to do it for a Chinese New Year celebration held at Hoss's work for the local nationals. She was super nervous before, but did great on stage. The girls won best dressed too:)

Today's Picture

To make it even I thought I should post this older picture of Ashlynn in her GI:)

Brielle wants to do anything and everything her father does. In her eyes he is a god. Her dreams of joining him in the profession are only shared with becoming "the barbie that rides on a Pegasus" and being a dancer. So, ever since he started Brazilian Ju Jitsu she has been begging to go. Well, today she had to get her four year old shots and was so good that he told her she could finally go:) Here is a picture of the two of them when he was stretching out. She lasted about a half hour before she got completely bored, but I definitely think it was the highlight of her day!

The Security Guard

There is a local gentleman who works on the corner by the pee tree (the tree ALL the dogs pee at) as a security guard. He is rather abrupt and mean looking and he works at an apartment building with signs posted everywhere about not letting your dogs pee on the planters, building and walls. One of my first encounters with him was one bad morning before I had, had my coffee. I was walking Ashlynn to the bus and Hoss was still at PT. So, I had Brielle with me and, as is the custom, I brought Max down with me for his morning bathroom duties to get everything knocked out at once. However, we live on the 7th floor and there is only one main elevator (the back elevator is a crickity, old service one) and the main one kept coming up and down with people in it. This matters because most people are terrified of Max and so I have to wait for an empty elevator to get into. I would have taken the back elevator, but the cleaning lady does trash every morning at 8:00am. When she does this, she takes the back elevator up to the 25th floor and holds it as she hits every floor on the way down. This happens every morning, but usually I can get main elevator within a five minute period. Unfortunately, this was not the morning that it happened; instead we waited for an elevator until I was uptight and we were late to catch the bus; then we had to run down the 11 floors of stairs (including the carport). So, I dropped Ash off at the bus and Brielle, Max and I went for Max’s morning relief. We walked him around for a bit but he didn’t seem to be able to complete the pass on the solid end and after a while we just started walking back. As you can imagine we got right in front of the guard shack and down he crouches. The security guard runs out and starts yelling at me in Cantonese about Max and I just shake my head at him and grab out the newspaper to clean it up. However, as I start to clean it up Brielle starts playing on the cement railing by the road and Max starts pulling at another yappy dog that is walking by. So, I start yelling at Brielle to come down and try to pull back and get Max under control so I can stretch out my free hand to scoop up the poop. It was chaos and the security guard, who had by this time grabbed a jug of water, is watching the whole thing go down with distain; as if he thinks I am the typical out of control, disrespectful American with the crazy kid. I guess it did appear that way, but that is neither here nor there. Well, I know you don’t need the descriptor but it was the crumbly type and it was a disaster. I managed to get all but the tiniest crumb and the security guy is still yelling at me. I can tell you that I didn’t have any more paper and for Pete’s sake it was on top of a storm drain grate! So I told the security guard to splash it down with the purposeful bottle and walked off, cursing him under my breath. It was a rotten morning and hard to recover from.

Flash forward to the present. I have tried my best to forget the incident and every time I pass I make sure to wave and smile. On Chinese New Year he came out of his booth to wish me a happy new year and he makes sure to wave and smile at the kids when we pass. I feel like the one rotten experience was just a fluke and through my respect (by not letting my dog pee on his building or ever poo again near him) he has learned I am different. Now, I look forward to waving at him and his friendly smile. I think I will actually miss seeing him on the morning routine and I hope he will notice my absence as well. Maybe we have both gained something from the experience. I know I have.

Before and After

I thought I'd post the two pictures to show you how much the girls have changed and grown. The first was taken last week and the second was taken over a year ago. How sweet and cute they are!

Happy Birthday Brielle!

This is a clip of Brielle singing for me today. It was another of her nonsense songs from the heart...you'll also notice the shelves. She took all her birthday ballons and made a "balloon store":) The cardboard is a "holder shelf" she made to keep the ballons I bought in.

Today was Brielle's 4th birthday!!!! She was such and angel about everything. For breakfast she started out with blueberries, strawberries and grapes (apparently she wanted mango too, but I didn't hear that part yesterday:). Then opening family presents and up to the rooftop to get some energy out and play with the friends who came for her party. Remember we don't have many toys so I had to occupy them some other way for a bit. After that it was back downstairs where we had more fruit, corndogs and chips with the cake. This years cake was nothing like last years. Last year I did a really cool one (I'll try to find a picture, sorry couldn't find it I looked) and this year all I had was the spatula they gave us in our moving kit. So I bought a Reynolds pan and cooked up a round cake that I decorated with store bought icing. Then as was the theme this year, I put some new "My Little Ponys" on top. She was funny about her theme. She had My Little Pony stuff for her friends and then insisted on getting camouflage plates and napkins for Hoss and his coworkers (who she pretty much begged to come for the last couple of months). They did come and were so sweet about it. I am very thankful for everyone here that we have been privileged to be around here. It was a great day. Ashlynn had a really hard time of it as we made sure Brielle felt special and was able to dictate the day, but I think she still had fun at the party.

A tidbit...

So yesterday I had a wonderful time in China!!!! The pearl market was too much fun and I could have spent days there looking for the perfect strand. At any rate I am still a bit exausted from the long day and have yet to go out and pick up everything for Brielle's birthday tomorrow. So, in the interest of my mental capacity and time, I am going to post a piece from the book I've been working for the girls. It's going to be filled with stories about me. I guess as I move forward in my life I wish I had more to reflect on in my past. (and my recollections of my father get more and more dim). So, in case anything ever happens to me I want them to know who I was. Anywho here is a piece from it:
The Sunrise over the Ocean.
I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so at peace as when I am near the ocean. Everything about the ocean is calming for me. I could sit on a beach from sun up to sundown and just feel the beauty in the motion of the water. I am enthralled by the sound and enchanted by the life and pattern of the waves. The people who are around me have no bearing on my mesmerization and I can always find my center at the water. Just the smell alone when I am standing near an ocean, without seeing it, is enough to make me take a deep breath and remember who I am and where I came from.
I believe my love of the ocean comes from fond memories of visiting my relatives in Rhode Island. My brothers and I would spend our mornings at the beach digging in the sand and splashing around with my cousins. My grandparents’ house is only a short walk away from the Providence beaches. Sometimes we would heave enormous rocks (big in a small child’s eyes) onto the sand and wait for the squirt of the clams that would gush up through the grains. Then we’d dig down as fast as we could to try to get the offender. Our parents were even good natured enough to cook up the few we caught and let us destroy the unlucky oysters looking for the elusive pearl.
This fondness only grew as my childhood in Montana was dominated by mountains and land-based adventures. I should stop right here to mention though that once I was invited to a birthday party at the lake and our sleepover spot was in the cabin of my friend’s father’s boat. I didn’t last fifteen minutes before my mind was convinced that the boat was going to go down while I was sleeping and we all would drown. I left embarrassed and crying. So, it is rather funny that my love with the water progressed until I eventually joined The U.S. Navy when I was eighteen.
This led to my first duty station, the USS Belleau Wood. We had such the relationship, that ship and I. Some days I walked on with an enthusiasm and joy and others were a lot harder; those were the days I walked off with joy. I remember the day we pulled out on our six month deployment. Hoss dropped me off at the pier and said his usual quick goodbye. We were determined not to make a scene and if I remember right he didn’t even get out of the car. I made it to the berthing and that was about it. I spent the next two hours balling my eyes out and willingly myself off the ship and back into his arms. I distinctly remember one girl’s mom was there seeing her off and she just looked at me with such pity and asked her daughter about me; who told her I was married. It was not pity I wanted, it was Hoss; but that is neither here nor there.
That night, the next morning and during the many that followed I would make my way to the opening in the hanger bay that reached out onto the water. I would look out and watch the sunrise and sunset with nothing to get in the way. The blue of the water was so deep it could not be perfectly captured in any of my pictures and the sun simply melted into it until only its reflection was left to remind you of the events past. No matter the time of day or night I could always make my way to the ocean and feel as if my problems were nothing compared to the vast control of the sea and the figure behind it who never let it swallow me up. Then I could go below again and the water would rock my small bed to sleep where I could wake refreshed to face another day. I do miss those days and the comforting feel of the ocean beneath my feet.

What I will not miss about Hong Kong

A fun pic of the girls playing in the "snow" (bubbles) at Ocean Park.They were convinced it was real...

I will not miss standing out in a bad way...

You see some people here do not really enjoy people of a lighter skin color. It's not my fault, there have been many before me, but it's definitely something I deal with on an everyday basis. For example, if I am trying to take a taxi and put my arm out to get an available one coming down the road it may pass me up. It will pass me up and not one block further down (where I can see) it will pick up a person with a more Asain look than my ancestry gave me. This racism will happen in lines (called queues here), buses, resturants and any other place where you may need service or be waiting. I have done what little I can to change these people's perception, but have never seen the fruits of my labour manifest themselves.

I will not miss my kids being sick.

As I write Ash has had a fever for the last four days. This is nothing new, just something we deal with and that I have developed lots of techniques for. We even now will go out. I have brought them to birthdays and everything like this. All it is, is a fever. There are no other symptoms. They eat and sleep just fine and as long as I keep them medicated they feel just fine. There seems to be nothing I can do to prevent it. Their bodies just can't deal with the pollution, at least I think. I used to bring them into the doctor every time, but after so many times I just call now and the staff will give me the rundown and the reassurance over the phone. So, life goes on, but I will be glad when it goes on without the fevers:)

But enough negative...

Tomorrow I get to take my last trip over the border and into China!!!! I'll be visiting the markets of GuanZhou! I can't wait! I do feel terribly guilty leaving Ash with a fever, but Hoss has assured me that he'll be as paranoid as I usually am. And since it's Ash I know she'll vocalize if she needs something. Brielle will get up to 104 and never say a word. If Ash crosses 100 she starts talking about her eyes and head and temp. So yeah, I'm really looking forward to it and I'm bringing my computer so I can work on the dreaded paper on the way there and back. I have loved all my shopping trips across the border, hopefully this one will be no different and I can get the last something special to keep for myself and or the girls for memories of this foreign land.

Fun Pictures

The girls at the nunnery. My absolute favorite spot in Hong Kong!

On the boardwalk (Thanks Kels for the editing!)

Lantern Festival (careful about the mooncakes, they are made with lotus paste and lard...yummy:)

Toy Market at Chinese New Year

The Big Buddha!

Christmas time with Kelly

I will miss...

I will miss the fabulous people here who have made the Hong Kong adventure so much more fun. The playgroup crowd and all the people who are so supportive of Hoss and the guys. It has made this a pleasant place...but enough of that...as sincere as it is, it sounds cheesy to say.
I will miss the adventure you can find in every day. Even just a trip downtown can be fun when you turn down a side street and find a random store filled with trinkets or a wall of jewellery. You wouldn't believe the amount of markets here. There is one for beads, one for flowers, ribbons, jade, fake designer brand names, toys, furniture...you name it they will have a section of the city set aside for millions of overwhelming choices to be haggled for. And even if you take a wrong turn you will only find a better place. Once I went out the wrong train exit trying to find the ribbon market and poof I found a place with old, replica coins and hanging things:) There is always something to be discovered here. Of course it is much easier with Ash in school, because Brielle is so much more willing to be dragged along with the bribe of an ice cream than Ash is. Also, she still manages to fit in our backpacks so I can put her in there and she is safe and happy and good for 3+ hours.
I will also miss the smells. Hong Kong is translated literally into "fragrant harbour". Everywhere you go there is a unique smell that goes along with the area you are in. Soho has the smell of food and makes you think of a hip, swanky place. Downtown is dominated by the smell of pollution and the push of crowd that swells to an unmanageable pace during the lunch hour. Brielle, the poor thing, hates this time because she is purse level and constantly gets whacked by peoples purses in the crowd. Most the time I just end up picking her up to avoid it. Causeway bay has the smell of the ocean mixed with pollution. Bowen road smells of the jungle and pollution...Do you see a trend:) but anyhow, I do love the smells!

Pollution takes up every aspect of our lives. When I first moved here and read the reports I figured it couldn't be that bad...but it is. As of October the girls bodies are done with it. Brielle's nose drips on a regular basis and she has a cough most of the time. Speaking of which, during this time I ave managed to find both menthol and strawberry scented kleenex:) Both girls get high (102-104) fevers at least once a month and Ashlynn's tummy hurts a couple times a week. When the index is high they don't even recommend us to go outside. I think our bodies have just broken down and need fresh air. Even wiping down the TV a couple times a week yields a layer of black on the rag. Yet, I think Hoss has the worst of it though, he has to PT in it and some days comes back from his runs and spend the next two hours coughing and feeling awful. I was told that there are three things that makes this a ripe atmosphere to get sick in.
1. It never gets cold enough to kill viruses and is the perfect temperature/humidity to incubate them and keep them going.
2. The population is so dense that we are in close contact with people on a regular basis, especially the elevators.
3. The pollution aggravates the back of your throat and mouth so it is more susceptible to germs.
But back to what I'll miss.
The temples.
I've talked to lots of people from around Asia and they are sick of the temples. I love the temples! I could never see enough. There are tons. At least one or two can be found in any area and they are just beautiful and so inspiring. It makes me want to study their religions just to see what motivates the harmony found in their buildings. I am constantly in conflict with my feelings when I visit these places though because Christianity lacks the grandeur and peace that these buildings invoke. I know that we are supposed to get our comfort and center from inside and look to the Lord for our reward, but the places that I visit just give such a better head start in the mood department than a regular North American church. Even in Europe the regular Christian churches are so much more inspiring. They are buildings whose very walls have become museums over the years; a place where the ordinary tourist, without a religious affiliation, can walk in and feel a presence. Thailand had a definite edge on the temple department but Hong Kong is not far behind in their more demure temples. I will miss the temples.
I will also miss the cultural festivals. They are filled with exotic shows and lights of weird animals. During any holiday season every mall has some enormous exhibit set up, with a bizarre take on the meaning, that people will line up to get their picture taken in front of. For example, at The Peak right now for Chinese New Year (CNY) there is a 20 foot circular, separated bowl with all of the individual CNY foods (dyed pumpkin seeds, sesame cookies, nuts...) that are each huge and it has a furry white ball with legs sticking out of it that guards it?! Yeah, I know I should really go take a picture. And these are everywhere! It's just fun to see and the displays are always changed out to something more creative than the last. You just can't see that in America.
I will miss the diversity here.
Walking through the city you can hear at least four different languages spoken in any short trip and you can get any kind of delicious food from any ethic category. We love the food! The girls are great they have learned that a weeks menu can include Philippino pancit, Thai green curry, Japanese sushi or curry, Spaghetti, Dimsum, Chinese dumplings and they'll eat any and all of it. I have learned to cook most of it and where to find any of it in the wet markets (which are full of vendors selling fruits, veggies and freshly killed meat).
The safety.
After Tunis this place was the best thing for my sense of safety. It is a great, safe place to be. I can walk anywhere, during anytime and be fine. Mind you, I still carry my pepper spray and pocket knife everywhere but it's best to over prepared than in trouble. Also, Ash's school is awesome in this area. You have to get buzzed in to open the front and only entrance. It is small and the teachers and staff know every child and caregiver. I don't worry about what can happen to her there. As much as I have hated the lack of education in her Waldoff Steiner school the atmosphere and her confident socialization have been amazing. Boy is she in for a change when she moves to public school! Do you know there are six pedophiles within a 2 mile radius of our new address? Terrifying!
My Cushy Life!
I love my location. They spoil us in this house. It is in the middle of the city and huge. Not only that, but for $20 a week I get a sweet lady to come and thoroughly clean my house. In 3 hours she has it sparkling and smelling good. So every week is a fresh start. She even irons! Even better, in Hong Kong everything can be delivered. Since we don't have a car this is wonderful. I can order my groceries online and they will come to my front door the next day or I can go into the store and buy everything and they will box it up and deliver it for free within a couple hours! Believe me, I know how lucky I am:) I will miss this.
There is so much I love about this place. I sometimes wish we could go on like this forever overseas, but the thing that we would miss out on is family. I really miss my family and it will be really nice to be where my girls can see them on a more regular basis.
Coming tomorrow: Things I wont miss...

Moving and Changes

Hello!

I feel like there are so many changes going on right now and the transitions are always memorable so I wanted to put them down while it's happening...no I haven't finished my thesis yet. Yes, I know it's been two years. No, I don't have any excuses. Believe you me, EVERYONE will know when it is complete:) Now, please get off my case about it (I know this is directed at nobody, but just in case you wanted to mention it to me next time we talk...please don't...it's a sore subject especially with Hoss and I). I fully realize my shortcomings in this area and am working to overcome it:)

Anyhow, we leave in 17 days!!!!!! Can you believe it?! We've been overseas for six years two months and it will all end soon. In retrospect it's odd that I left with no kids and a carefree life and I'm coming back to the same place but a totally different person with kids, responsibilities and much more awareness for the people around me. San Diego here we come!

Everything seems to be going smoothly. We had them come pack us up on the 7th. hoping that it would arrive before we do so we are now living the simple life. We have furniture and a trunk full of basic kitchen stuff and linens and of course our suitcases. (And can I take this point to say, I miss non-stick pans! Everything I make has a terrible presentation to it and is most likely burned, but we are eating and the kids are pretty good natured about it:)) Anyhow, the girls were able to pick out their favorite things to play with, but after a room full of toys to only have a bag they have been getting really creative. The My Little Pony's have taken over the bathroom during the day. Brielle uses it as her special hangout and the pony's are often found sliding down the walls and hiding in their clubhouse behind the shampoo...and when they get really bored I pull out one of the boxes I asked the movers to leave behind and they go nuts decorating, cutting and setting it up as a fort, stage (flattened of course) or dollhouse.

Ok, so that's enough for now. I need to shower and go track down a few more things for Ash's Hong Kong scrapbook so I can finish my part and get it to her school so they can do a couple pages for her like they promised. Her teachers are so great! More tomorrow I promise!